.:. crazy/beautifuL .:.

.:. mommy dearest? .:.

2011-10-07T10:20:00.009+08:00

Day 32 of Mommy-hood

So, this is my first post ever since we became parents, and I became a walking human cow.

Baby Mik is finally here and he turned one month old two days ago! Happy one month, my boy! :)

These days, my days are basically scheduled around his sleeping time. Like in the morning, after his morning feed, he'll snooze till like 9am or so, and that's when I catch up on my precious sleep. My God, I have never been so sleep-deprived in my entire life! LOL. You know how I used to be able to function on a standardised 6-hour sleep pattern? Now, I'm living day-by-day on a 3-hourly-wake-up-and-feed/change-the-baby-for-like-another-hour-before-I-hit-the-snooze-button-again-only-to-be-woken-up-in-the-next-two-hours schedule. But I'm not complaining. I've been surviving thus far, alhamdulillah.

I've learnt that mommies are extremely powerful. They have the power of the BOOBs. I've been breastfeeding since Day 1, and thankfully, the milk supply's been increasing. I've been asking around on the kind of food that increases one's supply, and well, apparently, boiled green bean soup (without the coconut milk; not the dessert kind) works wonders for one's milk supply. It's like magic; like you drinik it now, and in about 4 hours or so, your milk supply's like woah! alike so much, to the extent you leak.

That's about the only thing that I hate about breastfeeding - the leaking. It's like super weird. Like you go to sleep all fine and dandy, and then, you wake up wet in the chest area. Like really wet, like you peed on yourself but it's on your chest! What the heck right?! :) Other than that, I have no qualms about breastfeeding. I'm in love with the magic boobies now, what with the increase in size and plus, they really ARE magic. I can go out with Mik Mik all alone and when he fusses, I just nip him my boob, and woah, lo and behold, all is calm again. Haha.

But well, since he's a growing boy, he drinks a lot. And I mean, A LOT! So, I'm doing both - breastfeeding AND giving him formula milk. But you know what they say, about how breastmilk is still the best. And it's so true, cos at the end of the day, even after he's drunk a whole bottle of formula milk, Mik Mik will still go searching for my magic boobies. They always lull him to sleep, no matter what. Amazing.

He's getting so big and chubby now. And I cannot tahan his cheeks. So bloody cute! So geramz. I feel like biting them all day. Lol.

Ok, I've never been the motherly, maternal kind. I still don't think I am. Haha. But well, I;m slowly learning the ropes. One thing's for sure though, when it comes to your kid, you'll just know. Like you'll just know how to carry him, or soothe him, or feed him, bathe him, change him. And the list goes on.

Just trust yourself and you'll be fine. :)

.:. today, i don't feel like doing anything .:.

2011-07-04T14:19:00.007+08:00

so, just like bruno mars has cleverly scripted in his lastest hit, today (more like everyday since the 3rd trimester began), i don't feel like doing anything.

"Today I Don't Feel Like Doing Anything
I Just Wanna Lay In My Bed

Don't Feel Like Pickin' Up My Phone

So Leave A Message At The Tone

'Cause Today I swear I'm Not Doin' Anythin'"

seriously. o_0

i find it rather disturbing actually, cos i've always been the on-the-ball kind of person, so when i'm so exhausted and lethargic, i find it troubling. and a tad bit annoying, actually. lol.

i have decided to give up on counting down to week 36. cos i find it rather depressing. because when i count down, i find myself looking forward to after the baby is born, to when i can tote him around, and to a time when i can wear my heels. and then, when i consciously count down, it seems like time is standing still, and the weeks are longer.

so, to heck with counting down. i shall just look forward to my b-weekly gynae appointments. heh. :)

======

baby shower for Baby M?

ermmm. sorry to be a party pooper, but i only like celebratory occasions when they're not for me. haha. like a couple of the uni peeps are thinking of doing up like a baby shower of sorts, but well, i'm too lazy to enjoy such things. i don't mind going if it's for someone else, but if it's for me, tak yah lah. i'd rather do a 'baby shower' after baby M's born, like when he's 3 months old or sth, and i can tote him around. :) that idea, i like.

so for now, should anyone wish to spend moolah on baby M, kindly get him a diaper cake(s) - with clothes for 3 months old and above, and nothing in blue. bright colours are greatly welcomed. thank you! :) just like how his mama loves diaper cakes, i'm sure he'll grow to love them too. lol.

i do plan to do a big do-daa for him when he's about 3 months old or something. a kind of introductory hello-welcome-to-this-world kinda thing. please don't get this confused with the cukur rambut. the cukur rambut will definitely happen, but think we might just invite family and close friends, cos that would already sum up to like 300 people? hahhha. yes, we have a LOT of family. lol.

so, look forward to this big doo-daa thingy. it'll most prolly be slated for a time before he turns 6 months old, but when he's already uber cute with baby fats, and his mama can get back to her hot heels and look more like a MILF. so, yar. look out for that. no concrete details yet, but you get the drift.

=====

Dear Baby M,

i don't know why, but you love placing your butt cheeks in the middle of my belly. makes me laugh thinking about it, cos well, shows you got a sense of humour. and hey, you're not shy. if my belly was transparent. it kinda feels like you're showing off them cute cheeks for the world to see. hahhaha. keep up the humour and the somersaults in there - i look forward to them every day.

xoxo,

your Mama

.:. i know that we've tried, but this is the last goodbye .:.

2011-07-04T14:16:00.001+08:00

The things that I cannot wait to do after Baby M arrives!

1) oh God. Wear them heels!Oh my dear God. Only you know how much I miss my gorgeous heels. I look at them hanging on the damn shoe rack and they're collecting dust!! Nooooo. I think they feel sad, cos they've been neglected. Boo.

That's it.

First thing on my list of what to buy after delivery is a new pair of pretty heels. *drools*I don't even care about losing weight sia. I just wanna fit my feet into a pair of gorgeous sexy heels and I'm all good to go. Wahhhhh. Cannot wait.

2) Highlight me tresses! Some hair pampering is much much needed. And I cannot wait to get into that salon's chair after the 1 month confinement and get my tresses treated to gorgeous honey highlights. Baby, be prepared to take care of the baby for a maximum of 2 hours while I get back my old hair!!

3) Losing the pregnancy weight? Hmm.Ok, this one, I'm not gonna do immediately. Cos that's like crazy. Plus, I didn't gain much weight in other parts except for the tummy. And Erm, I like the very well endowed assets on my chest.

So, Yar.
This is last on my priority list.
Plus, the husband's not pressuring me to lose weight, cos dier pun dah PBG! Hahaha.

That's about it actually.
And travel.
But well, that's something we can do when the baby's slightly pass the 3 month mark.

And we can do that as a family. :) which I am very much looking forward to. I figured i'd better store this list somewhere before I get all forgetful. Now back to watching my tummy groove to the music I'm listening to. Baby M's having a ball of a time doing flips and somersaults. Haha.

.:. rolling in the deep .:.

2011-06-28T06:21:00.007+08:00

i find great comfort in listening to your snores at night or whenever i can't sleep. it's always been that way, from the time before we weere married, when we were still courting and till now. and i hope it remains that way. whether it's in the comfort of our own bed, or even when we're abroad, and i wake in the middle of the night. i seek comfort in knowing that you're next to me, and listening to your rhythmic breathing/snores lull me back to slumberland. :)

=====

hurdles in Baby M's world: what's that?!

there is finally a small (read: BIG! HUGE!) flicker of hope during this very trying last trimester - my amniotic fluid level has decreased to being normal! yayness. was so so soooo relieved when i heard that from the sonographer when we did the fetal scan. Baby M's doing well, somersaulting and doing yoga in my belly. he refuses to show us his full face - maybe he's trying to keep us in suspense and surprise us upon delivery. wahhh.

our gynae seems confident that all will be ok, in due time. the baby will definitely be born a premmie, though a late one. but she's trying to minimise his chances of having to stay in the neonatal unit after delivery. hence, she's holding me on to the meds till 34/35 weeks.

my target is to hold on till at least 36 weeks. somehow, the date 20th August seems to ring a bell to me, though i cannot, for the life of me, fathom its significance. i honestly don't think it's anyone's birthday or a special date of any kind. so, i believe that it might be a sign from the One above that baby M might make his big entrance then. that'll be during my 36th week, and i'd be 9 months by then, so please do. :)

======

temporary SAHM vs Nine West heels in the corporate world

i gotta submit my application for unpaid leave soon if i want to take any after Baby M's delivery. i was initially planning to take at least 2 extra months till Feb 2012, till he turns 6 months, before the whole she-bang with bed rest and all the ning-nongs. i was so sure of this. and then, the whole bed rest episode happened, and i was forced to take early absence from work, and by ttime my maternity leave ends in Dec 2011, i would have been away from work for a period of like 6 months.

wah. i know this sounds horrendous, but i'm such a workaholic that i actually feel bad for being away that long. sheesh.

plus, with the notion that if i take unpaid leave, i might not have a job to go back to, well, duh, now you get why i'm actually contemplating and rethinking my decision. it doesn't help that my emplacement is due in Jan 2012, and well, if i take unpaid and it's approved, i'll be away till like mid Feb 2012, which means that i might miss my emplacement and thus, might not be emplaced?

i was talking to the man about this, and i need him to be on the same page as me. that should the possibility of me being unemployed occur, he'll be alright with it. we both agreed that well, who ever said having a kid was easy, and that parenthood was gonna be a piece of cake. but if me taking time off from work to make sure that our kid's all well and fine for the first 6 months of his life, then so be it. we'll risk the possibility of me being jobless because of this.

so, it's settled then. unpaid till Feb 2012, and keeping my fingers crossed.

*praying hard*

.:. your daddy must have been a drug dealer .:.

2011-06-21T23:25:00.003+08:00

this man here loves watching chinese films. especially donnie yen ones. i, on the other hand, just don't get it. -_-

each night, when i can't sleep and am lying in bed, i google or think about the food that i'd like to have for lunch the next day. like today, i cooked chicken soup. very the yum yum. and tomorrow, i'm thinking of making beef spaghetti. i've tried cooking chicken spaghetti, but God, i still love the old traditional beef bolognaise type. i lovvvve. :)

these few days, i've been trying to perfect or twig or discover my grandma's age-old recipe for banana fritters (jemput-jemput). well, i could ask her, but that's a bit difficult, seeing as how she can barely talk after her stroke late last year. so, i'm trying to twig it and figure it out. so far, i failed my first attempt - too little sugar. and the flour wasn't cooked enough. hmmm. i shall ask the man to get me some bananas and try again in like two weeks or so.

since the bed rest, i've been cooking a lot. trying new easy to cook recipes. so far, so good. i shall maybe attempt mee goreng end of this week, no?. lol. we shall see.

i'll be reaching my 7th month this friday, and well, everything's almost ready for baby M. we've gotten the bottles, loads of clothes and bibs, the swaddles, the changing mat, the wet wipes, the toys, the breast pump, the bottel cleaner, the diaper/changing/cleaning organiser. now, we're just left with the milk and the powder. done. not bad. we're very prepared (logistically) for the arrival of this tiny little being, and i cannot wait to hold his squirming self in my arms. the SIL and the husband were talking, and the man asked her if my belly was as big as my elder SIL before she popped yesterday. and my SIL thinks that mine and kak ila's was as big. like i look like i'm 8 months preggers. wah lau. really? i don't mind a big baby, and i pray that he'll be well and fully developed before he decides to make his grand entrance.

online shopping has gotten me all excited these few weeks, and i now await my three new purchases. i shall post pics of them up when they arrive. cannot wait!

on another note, i shall one day post the baby's crib and how it looks like. one day, some day. lol.
just don't hold your breath k. :0)

.:. who run the world? .:.

2011-06-21T09:05:00.003+08:00

apologies for the lack of updates.
basically, this was how last weekend was spent:

CELEBRATING MAMA'S BIRTHDAY!
well, my mum turned a ripe age of 56 years old, and we figured we'd do something different. at least my dad thought of doing something other than the cut-caking-ning-nong we do on birthdays. soooo, we booked two rooms at Hard Rock Sentosa under his name (he's a RWS member, you see) and thus, we get them for free/ at a discounted rate. the place was awesome, and we had the rest of the extended family and my in-laws over. awesome possum. pictures wil be up soon. :)

SURPRISE PARTAY FOR LIN!
most of sunday was spent over at changi cottage at lin's surprise birthday partay. there was a theme - we had to dress up as heroes. i dressed up as Shrek's fiona, cos of the baby bump. duh. and well, the man dressed up as Hancock. the version before he became a superhero. hahahah. all in all, we had awesome fun!

and thus, yesterday was spent recuperating. exhausted pregger whale here spent the day in bed and catching up on sleep. cos well, insomnia has hit, and i never get to sleep properly at night. eeek.

so, today i feel much much better. still a bit exhausted, but i can feel my energy levels going up. i like. :)

in other matters, my sis-in-law gave birth yesterday! yay! a baby boy, weighing 3.2 kg. we shall go visit her tonight after the man knocks off from work. cannot wait.

in my pregnancy world, i am now reaching my 28th week soon. and i cannot wait. that would mean the 7th month mark! :) and the beginning of the third trimester. we are finally reaching there. another 7 weeks or so, and Baby M will be here. woohoo.

p.s: appetite's been a bit down. which is sorta worrying me. but i've been loading on carbs i.e. bread. no mood to eat rice at all. so, today, i figured i'd go healthy. had vege soup for brekkie. and am thinking of making chicken soup for lunch. nyeh. i now feel like eating KFC's transformers wrap. it looks uber appetising. shall con the husband into getting me that for dinner. lol.

.:. if i were a boy .:.

2011-06-16T08:10:00.004+08:00

so, i am now awake. been awake since waking up the man for work on this rainy Thursday morning.
these days, insomnia has come to haunt me. i'm awake most of the nights from 3am onwards and i only manage to snooze back to sleep at like 7am in the morning. and then, i'm back awake by 10am, and can no longe nap throughout the day. bugger.

so it was with much gratitude that i was able to sleep through most of the night last night, while it pittered and pattered outside in the west of this little red dot of an island we call home. i love it when i'm able to sleep for most of the night, cos the next morning, i'll be up and about early and i get to get many things done. for instance, i've been up for an hour or so, and i've finished the following chores/tasks:
- wake the man up for work
- make and eat brekkie
- make and watch the man eat HIS brekkie (this rarely happens at all, on weekdays)
- heat up last night's tom yam soup (the daddy made this. my daddy, not my baby's daddy. heh.)

so, see. i get to do loads of things. and i feel uber fresh. :)
i figured since i'm on bed rest and home all day longgggg, i'd try to finish up at least one blog entry a day. i guess it's a comfort zone for me to re-visit so as to keep my sanity. sheesh.

was searching online on blogs written by mommies about their pregnancy journeys and their babies. and i found some pretty interesting ones. i shall continue following them for a week or so, and then maybe post the link up for whoever reads this dusty blog, should they wish to find out more.

in other news, i rediscovered and rekindled my looooove for online shopping. this week alone, i've had three online shopping trips. i call them trips just like how when you go on a shopping trip outside, it's known as a trip, no? mine's just done in the comfort of my bed since well, i need to put my feet up. anyway, i am pleasantly surprised to discover that all the things i bought online have been delivered and recieved within 3 days of purchase. pleased why? cos 1) i did not get cheated off my moolha (yay!), and 2) they get delivered so fast!. best!

so, now, i am on a mission to explore how PayPal works. i've signed up for one, only on like Monday or so. yar, i know. i am sooo slow. sheesh. but the husband swears by this, ever since he started using this system when he started his eBay craze early this year. so, i figured i shall try this out too.

things are looking up in the BedRest World.
i spend most of my days in bed, with my feet up, eating the meds to keep the contractions at bay.
and so, the only time, i really get off the bed is when i go to the loo, when i eat, when i cook so i can eat, and MAYBE, when i watch tv in my parents' room. other than that, i am by default on my bed.

i got kinda depressed when i first had to start bed rest so suddenly. but two weeks into bed rest, i've found my own routine and things are looking up. i get to enjoy baby M's kicks and punches more, and have gone into the habit of reciting the Qur'an and Yasin more. plus, i've started cooking agaon. so, i like that. :)

our last check-up with Dr Su was on Monday, and she informed us that i'll be on meds till my 34th week. after which, she'll let the contractions run its natural course, and if we're lucky, baby M will make his appearance in early Ramadhan. insya-Allah.

i am very much looking forward to this notion, as i've always believed that good, if not, great, things happen during Ramadhan. and so, insya-Allah, ALLAH will grant my wish. :)

and this was when two became soon-to-be three.

.:. shingo the baby giraffe! .:.

2011-06-14T17:15:00.003+08:00

so, went to the gynae's yesterday. routine check-up. and so. i asked her my birth plan.
or more like what her plan for me was.
lol.

1) it was very coomforting to be informed that i can still take painkillers. mild ones, and albeit, less effective, i can still take them. thank you, God.

2) i will remain on meds till i'm 34 weeks, to hold off the contractions. once i hit 34 weeks, my gynae plans to stop the meds, and let the contractions run its course. which means i might be able to hold my baby by Ramadhan. please please please. i just think that it's such a holy month and all good things get fulfilled then. insya-Allah.

another appointment due in late June, and we're doing another scan then. so, we get to see the baby!

baby M's kicks and punches are getting stronger!
i can now see my stomach move.
hahhahahahhahahah.
and the man finally saw that for the first time yesterda, while we were waiting to see the gynae. haha.
he got such a thrill over it.
now, he keeps asking the baby to do it.
lol.

=====
dear baby M, i cannot wait to officially meet you and hold you.
cuddle you and talk to you with you tangibly here for me to touch.
i am eagerly counting down the weeks to 34 weeks, and you gotta promise to stay in there till then.

with much love,
your mummy

.:. califonia king...bed .:.

2011-06-03T13:57:00.002+08:00

so, i have been placed on bed rest.
as of monday till the end of pregnancy.
which is like a whole three months!

first things first, many people, who have never been on bed rest, thinks it's that well, it's awesome fun, but hello, i beg to differ.
you're like constantly confimed to your bed, not only your home.
even simple, minute, insignificant daily activities which you found such a breeze to do previously become such a chore.

loke cooking your own meals.
damn.
standing.
walking!

and i think for someone like me, it's doubly hard.
i mean, i thrive on social interactions, but now, i am stuck home alone for most of the day and i just stare at the four walls.
sheesh.

but on a more positive note, bed rest has really really really helped to reduce the contractions, and the baby's more active now.
i like spending time feeling his kicks and punches and his movements. they're like butterfly flutters. i love. :)

everyday, i pray that baby M will remain inside till 32 weeks, when he's better developed and there's lower risks of defects.
so. please hokay Baby M, stay inside till then k.
i promise I'll love you more for that k?

.:. do it like a brother. do it like a dude .:.

2011-02-21T13:33:00.002+08:00

you know how they're preaching about flexi-work arrangements?
i wonder whether it exist.
maybe it does, but somehow or rather, you'll meet with some resistance.

like harlo.
i've already told you back in Jan, that i'm thinking of a flexi-work arrangement. but guess what? nothing's being done yet. -_-
and when i end up having to take MCs cos of the changes that comes along with my condition, you guys make noise.

then harlo.
do something lah.
accede to my request, or put in place the 3 day at work, and 2 days work from home arrangement some other section of our organisation is already practising.
this would mean lesser medical leave and yet, i get to do my work from home what.
sheesh.

so much for being open and understanding.

i'm still gonna propose for a 3-day work-in-office and 2-days-work from-home eventually, seeing as i foresee childcare issues when my kid is born.

if you don't believe in the government's policy, then stop preaching it.

it's frustrating to try to get better and recuperate when all you can think about is work.
sheesh.
and them doctors tell you to take it easy.

maybe that'll work in some other country ah, but well, obviously not here.
they ask for more babies, but no EQ is done when managing such delicate situations.

we shall see.
i've already made up my mind to let go of the TL position anyway.
already made up my mind when i first found out i'm preggers.
no point having so much additional work, and and yet, no increment in salary.
i'd rather do my core duties and then just simply be happy with my salary.
work done, and i get to go home and enjoy time with my family.
done.

so, harlo, when i tell you i want to let go, and i'm asking for more flexible working hours/arrangement, please listen and accede to it.

thanks.

.:. you think? .:.

2011-02-16T12:18:00.003+08:00

just read the news about how it's being reported that the average size of a Singaporean family is now decreasing. and how recent surveys show that young couples today don't have procreation as their top priority.

like duh.
we live in the 3rd most expensive city in Asia.
what do YOU think?

yar, sure. the government gives us the baby bonus. but seriously, do they think that the baby bonus can actually last for the kid till he/she enters primary one or sth?

please.
that $6K can simply vanish within the first two years of its infancy, what with childcare fees, diapers and milk costs.

you want us to procreate?
then make it more favourable for us.
childcare fees cost a hefty $300+ a month or more.
and harlo, we need to work cos everything's so God damn expensive.
so of course, there's not many other choices except for childcare and infant care centres.
what with raising the retirement age and making our parents work till they're half in their graves.
so, obviously, we young couples nowadays have no other options but to resort to childcare facilities, right?

this problem/issue has been going on for eons.
since before i entered Uni, when they discovered that SG was facing an aging population.
now, why are we still at the same problem with no viable solutions?

it's no wonder so many young couples are migrating to greener pastures, i.e. Aussieland, so that their children can have a better quality of living.
it's so expensive here and stressful here, there's no point having more than 2 kids.
sheesh.

if you want fresh new generations of Singaporeans, then please.
do something about this situation.

here are some suggestions:
1) it'd be totally awesome if paternity leave was made mandatory. like maybe give them 1 or 2 months of it. this will help greatly, cos new moms need all the help they can get within the first month of delivery. and wouldn't it be great if they had their husbands home with them to bond with the baby and help them out?. it'll sure be a remedy for post-natal blues.

2) encourage flexi-work arrangements in most, if not, all companies. first, make this a compulsory thing in government bodies. practice what you preach. once a female employee gets preggers and is about to become a mother, please have HR and their direct bosses sit down with them and work out a flexible working arrangement. This will decrease the rate of them taking MCs and harlo, a happy worker is a more productive worker lah.

3) decrease living costs. prices for necessities are getting ridiculously high. do something about this. maybe tag baby necessities like milk, diapers to the baby bonus package or sth. like for the first 2 years of the kid's life, you get like a 10- 20% discount on such items if they have this special card for the baby?. This will sure help parents.

4) make delivery/medical charges more affordable. screw the whole "if you get referral from polyclinic, then your gynae charges will be cheaper" crap. equality lah. make it the same rate for everyone. and allow people to use their medisave even if they choose to take like a 2-bedder or 4-bedder.

5) the husband was saying that maybe companies should tag the number of children an employee has and increase his/her pay a bit based on this. like if you have 1 kid, your pay increase by like a $100-$200. and subsequently, it will increase again when you have a second or third kid. makes sense what. the more kids you have, the more mouths you gotta feed. so your pay has to grow right. if not, why bother having extra mouths to feed?

well, this is just my take.
i never used to think so much about these things, until i got preggers myself.
doctors tell you not be stressed when you're preggers.
but hey, if you live in this city-state, it's a wonder if STRESS is not in your vocabulary.
0_o

.:. of resolutions and new hope .:.

2011-01-07T21:13:00.002+08:00

and so, 2011 has arrived.
in such a flash.
ta-da!

i figured i shall stick to a few resolutions, so i won't break that many.
i like broke them up into work resolutions and well, personal ones. :)

for work, i hope to:
- get to work early
- less fb-ing at work
- be more efficient and productive

for home, and my life in general, i plan to:
- enjoy life more
- fall in love with the husBOND more
- travel more
- save more
- enjoy more financial stability

and me and the husband figured we shall start trying after we return from New Zealand. like properly try. hahha. and not just fool around. lol.

marriage is awesome.
i don't feel married still.
weird.
but it's cos i still get to enjoy me time, girlie time, friends time and then we have our dates.
so, i likkke.

penang was awesome.
i enjoyed it so much, i actually felt so sad leaving the hotel.
damn.
my husband spoils me so. boo.
till the next birthday trip.

i am so very much looking forward to NZ.
seriously.
it'll be autumn when we're there, and i just cannot wait to get to the hotel and enjoy the sceneries and luxuries there.
oh my God.
and and and and, we'll be spending his birthday there!!!
how cool is that?!
to be celebrating your birthday in a foreign land during a different season, which you've never experienced before!!!
woot woot.
one thing i absolutely enjoy is birthdays.
i love birthdays.
birthday celebrations.
and i really go all out!
i seriously always go all out for his birthdays.
i think from this year onwards, i should start a birthday diary.
wahhhhhhhhhhh.
so fun. :)

at this moment, i'm late. so the notion or possibility of good news kinda feels good. and well, that got us thinking. and that's where the decision to try happened. we're not hoping this time round, cos we weren't even trying. so we shall see. we're keeping our little fingers crossed though. hoo hoo. 5 days and still nothing. the test says no, so well, i don't know.

so..............active trying shall begin after March.
here's to a brand new year, with new possibilities and new ideas and greater hope!!

.:. i wonder .:.

2010-11-01T13:49:00.003+08:00

well, i'm eagerly waiting for 3rd nov to come so that Ms Red will make an appearance.

you know how we were avidly trying in maybe August?. well, we did some reflecting, and figured we'd just go with the flow. so, this month has been no pressure, and well, it's been much more fun.

i figured we're still young and well, there are still many many things that i'd like to do and get out of my system before a little kiddo comes along. and plus, there are still many many things i would like to see the man achieve before we have mini Naddies and mine Zali-Zalis. hahah.

ok, from here onwards, this post is strictly for females.

my twin peaks have been rather sore for the past, like, 5 days, and it kinda got me thinking. at first, i figured it's just a passing thing, but well, harlo, i have been in pain and discomfort for the past how many days.

so, i googled it last night, and one of the results that popped out was well, PREGNANCY.

ok, you know how i was super disappointed when Ms Red came in August and Sept, cos we were really trying?. honestly, i felt like crying each time Ms Red made its appearance. boo yah.

well, it's the reverse now. i was thinking about it this morning about what it would be like if the test turned out positive, and well, i kinda freaked.

don't get me wrong. i honestly do want a kid or even many, many kids one day. at least before i hit 30. but i thought about all the things that i might not be able to do when a kid comes along, and well, i STILL WANT TO DO THOSE THINGS.

like club.
like go pubbing and listen to awesome gigs till the wee hours of the morning.
go on awesome spontaneous dates with the husband and coming home at like 3 am and sleeping the whole sunday away.
like go travelling and see the maginificence of this place we call Earth.
like doing something (i don't know what yet) big and giving my all to it.
like seeing the husband go through his advanced diploma and actually graduating from the course.

and when i think about it realistically, there are cons to the whole notion of starting a family now.
like where the heck are we gonna put the kid?
there's already a lack of space in our room.
so, yar, logistically, it's a concern.

so, in a way, i feel that maybe it would be best if we waited till the house is ready in 2013. i'd be 28 then and the man would be 29. so, my goal of A Kid by 30 will still be achievable.

but then, i feel guilty for being selfish.
it's not about being selfish per se, but it's the fear of actually raising a kid.
like, will i be a good mom?
or will i give my all to this tiny human being?

i don't want to be a young mom, and still want to club, and end up leaving my kid with a babysitter while i enjoy the night away. damn. that would be shitty.

but then, some part of me knows that i might just do that, because well, i wouldn't have gotten the clubbing/hooray hooray juices out of my system if i became a parent at a substantially young age.

like i had so much fun over the weekend, and i've been having fun over these weekends with the husband. cos it's just the two of us, and well, we just know how to enjoy each other's company.

plus, the sex is good.
shit.
i so do not want to spoil that.

so, you see, it's the polar opposite now.
plus, it did not help watching Shutters Island and the Back-Up Plan yesterday.
i do not want to end up being Michelle Williams' character who ends up killing all her three children cos she yearned to have some alone time with her husband.
and the Back-Up Plan was horrendously funny, but God, you look at the expenses needed for a kid, and well. i am so not yet ready in that department.

just thinking of it can make me hyperventilate.

so, i already took a Pregnancy Test and it was negative.
but according to the Net, it can be a false negative.
shitttte.
so, i shall just wait for Ms Red to appear.
2 more days.

i want a kid but maybe not right now.
i know there will never be a good time to have a kid, but i pray to Him that should i get pregnant, please give me like uber obvious signs, cos then i won't take whatever weird sensations my body's feeling as a sign that i'm falling sick, and take like a panadol or something. panadols aren't good for the foetus apparently.

and then, shit. there goes the whole notion of being a good parent. cos you're already contaminating the kid when you don't even know it exists.

so, please please please God, if you were to ever make me get pregnant (which i hope You will), please make the signs obvious. cos you know how ridiculously dense and bimbotic i can get when it comes to these things.

thank you.

.:. ride sally ride! .:.

2010-10-21T15:21:00.002+08:00

so, project Alysha has been put on hold for now. till...whenever.
we figured we'll try it Nike style, and see what happens.
in the mean time, any extra cash that's beings aved up will be channelled to our project 'Travel the World in 80 Days'.
next trip will be in Penang and i am looking forward to that.
following that, we're heading to Maldives early next year.
and I seriously hope to go to NZ in Dec 2011 during xmas time!!
i wanna see snow and how the festivities are celebrated there!! :)

married life has been awesome.
good.
we had our fair share of rough patches in the beginning, but things are getting so much better now.
i don't really feel married.
the only time i do is when i wake up in the middle of the night and i see this giant i get to snuggle up with.
i liikke.
especially during cold nights when i get to squeeze my feet in between his and i have his arms around me to warm me up.
i extremely like. :)

we got ourselves a new gadget - a DSLR.
maybe i should name it.
like Black Beauty or something.
heh.
so far, i'm loving it.
brought me back to the days when i used to photograph for real.
but now, i prefer to be the model.
hahha.
so, the man can take over being the photographer.
lol.

the cats are awesome after getting neutered.
super well behave.
and Jack is getting cuter by the minute.
he always finds a way to snuggle up close to us when we're about to sleep.
and he'll pretend to be in a deep slumber when you need to shoo him away.
but he's so damn cute, you just melt looking at him.
sheesh.

it's been a hazy hazy past few days.
and because of that, my throat's all scratchy.
plus, haze equals to migraine.
which eventually bloody leads to my gastric.
freakkkkk!

so, i now gotta go back to work at least one saturday in a month.
heh.
haven't really figured out how i feel about this yet.
it's somewhat a love-hate feeling.
we shall review this in maybe a month's time or so.

in other matters, i have come to realise that a 25-year-old body does not react the same way as a 24-year-old body would.
heh.
and so i have put on weight.
i welcome the weight gain very much, but well, now i have a tummy, and i so do not welcome THAT.
so, i, yes me, the one who loathes exercise, has started to do some exercise.
like spinning.
and crunches.
heh.

i shall somehow try to do some briskwalking done this week amidst my busy schedule.
maybe tomorrow.
i'll make it my friday night par-tay move.
heh.

to a certain Mr Sazali Sulaiman, if you're reading this,
i love you berry much.
and i am thinking of all the ways to spend my surprise Charles and Keith vouchers.
i lup you like a fat kid loves cake.
and mainly because you know shopping is my drug and you, my man, never fail to let me indulge in it.
muah!

.:. grease lightning! .:.

2010-10-04T16:42:00.003+08:00

so, well, project alysha is taking a backseat this week, seeing as how MsRed has appeared.
appointment to the gynae has been changed to next week.

in other matters, am sending ben to be neutered by this week. hopefully i can get him an appointment on wednesday morning. jack has already gone under the knife, and is now much better behaved. now is ben's turn. muahahahaha.

i am now trying to nurse a pounding headache.
urgh.
think i'm gonna fall real sick, cos my body's aching all over.
aiyo.

had a tiring week last week, what with us shuttling from one hospital to another.
nenek was admitted to NUH last wednesday. she's still there but seems to be getting better.
the man's grandma was admitted in ttsh last monday, but she didn't make it.
passed on on friday afternoon, and we were there in the same room she drew her last breath.
felt surreal when that happened.
that moment where there was once life then just plain nothing.

weekend was the burial, then tahlil and we finally managed to rest a bit on saturday night.
i am still reeling from the exhaustion.

urgh.
help.

.:. what the hell .:.

2010-09-27T11:28:00.002+08:00

i should stop fallinfg this kinda tricks.

but i really thought this time it would be different. urgh.
but again, the negative line.
heh.

ok. then.
another month of trying.
sheesh.

time to get myself checked at the GYNAE.
hmm/

.:. pink equals to hawt! .:.

2010-09-20T17:38:00.002+08:00

i know it's cliche, but i've fallen deeper in love with you ever since we got married.

the first month was hard, yes.
but hey, after that, i've been enjoying the ride. :)

i love being with you.
and running errands together.
i love laughing at each other.
and sleeping next to you.
i like snuggling near you when i'm cold at night, and how you envelope me in your arms when i shiver.
i love. :)

i love our runs to the lifts and trying to outbeat each other on who'll get into the lift faster than the other.
hahah.
i love you cos i know you.
i love the small brush of your hand on my arm.
the little hold you have on my pinky before parting.
i love the way you kiss me awake in the morning.
and how you call me during the day to laugh.

i love how you look for me when you're sick.

i love you because you are you, Babooji.
hahha.
and i love the me i am when i'm with you.

.:. raya 2010 .:.

2010-09-20T11:03:00.004+08:00

i am totally exhausted.

and my head's pounding.

cos i am falling siiiiick.

nose is blocked.

head is heavy.

and body aching all over.

urgh.

i don't like.

am contemplating going to the doc's in the afternoon.

if i can't tahan, i am so going to surrender by 4pm.

there's been a nasty flu bug going around and i think it finally caught up with me.

ok lah.

last time i had fever cos about 3 months back in june, slightly before the wedding.

heh.

see how lah.

.:. hypocrisy = URGH! .:.

2010-08-30T10:48:00.002+08:00

wah. some people at work can be so fake. gross!

i hate it when i'm made to rush home from the in-law's or wherever beacuse somebody would like to watch soccer. damn irritating. best part, only when we reached home, we realised that there was a mix-up in the time of the match. geramz.

time spent with you is always nice.
honestly.
even when i'm screaming my lungs out at you arguing, it still feels good.
hahhaha.
but quiet time with you is awesome.
just you and i.
simple time like cooking, watching the tele, playing with the cats.
i love.

i hate this gastric problem that's been bugging the shit out of me.
crappo.
i shall nip this asswipe in the butt first before i even try to get preggers.

and plus, somebody told me that putting your legs up after sex will get you preggers.
hahha.
any truth to that?

i am now looking forward to adding on to what little savings i have now.
heh.
and then spending it all on gorgeous getaways with the husband.
best.

:)

.:. we got HITCHED!! .:.

2010-08-05T10:20:00.010+08:00

and so, i have not blogged for like 4 months plus. haha.

been way too busy to blog, plus the blog sites were going whack.

and so, i am here to dust off the dust and cobwebs from this space.

what has happened so far?

WE GOT HITCHED, ma babies!!! :)

finally, after nearly 7 years together, i got a huge ass $8K diamond rock on my finger!

yessssah.

i don't know about the man, but I definitely enjoyed our wedding tremendously.

it was a whole 2 days of whirlwind FUN!

and i wish i can go through it all over again.

heh.

the wedding was simply divine.

everything i had hoped for and more.

Anggun Wedding Services did an awesome orgasmic job hokay.

with the gorgeous delightful decor and tentages.

the lawa nak mampos pelamin.

and huge too!

and the delectable outfits, hair and make-up.

i sungguh love.

we absolutely made the right choice taking them, and i sincerelt enjoyed working with them.

hope they enjoyed our nonsense as well.

heh.

we'll be picking up the wedding pics cd from Fandy tonight.

so, will post up more pics when we have them.

but for now, here are some sneak previews.

.:. live like we're dying .:.

2010-03-04T14:04:00.001+08:00

come 9th march, it'll be exactly four months away till THE day.
haha.
i get butterflies just thinking about it.

the bed is coming end of this month.
yay.
new bed!

then i guess we're going ikea for some shopping.
and a quick getaway come april. :)

we're left with the cards, the berkats, booking the kadi.
booking the kadi shall be done by this month, which means booking the hall will be done this month too.
then in april, we'll be greeted with bai's wedding after the quick getaway. followed by pak busu's wedding.
guess it'll be the third week of april before we head to angsana to look at some cards.
cards should be done come may, cos we're handing them out personally in june to family.

give us a shout-out if you want a card. if not, i'll just pass you the address. :)

we kinda have decided on what kind of photoshoot we want. :) heh. we'll be choosing the baju-s next month. shall go down to the mak andam next friday to discuss the decor.

this saturday shall be gubahan viewing day, plus window-shopping for raya clothes, which shall be part of the dulang-s. and maybe a quick trip to the bank for some joint investments, or spending at ikea.

haha.

i have yet to get him his ring. it's irritating cos he refuses to properly set aside some time for purchasing his ring.
urgh. geram sey.

decided on our second honeymoon at the end of the year - NEW ZEALAND!. :)
yay.
went to christchurch, queenstown and dunedin the last time i was there with mama and ika.
so, we're now looking at auckland and another state. :)

everything just looks so uber gorgeous, with luscious greenery rolling endlessly in the horizon.
so, best!

either we're heading to new zealand or taiwan.
if NZ is this dec, then Taiwan shall be next June.
which ever fits our whimp and fancy at that point in time.

the first honeymoon shall be to phuket, since we've been wanting to go for God knows how long.
been checking out nice places, and shall go ahead with the booking come may/june 10. :)

we finally decided on the time for the nikah.
which i like. :)
cos i suggested it.
hahhahahahha. :p

oh my God.
i so cannot wait.
hahhaa.

oooh. and i need to get shoes for the wedding itself. heh.
shopping time!! :)

and i am feeling extra proud of myself, cos i managed to make a quick run to the bnak and open a new account.
yay.
satisfied. :)
who knew huh, that we'd be discussing about investments, joint accounts and insurance?
hahha.
and best part is, i actually got excited and called you straight away.
hahha.

i actually miss the nights we spent lying on our backs at the botanic gardens, just talking away under the kaleidoscope of stars and the night air/breeze enveloping us.
haha.
macam suddenly teringat. :p

you and me.
carousel date in two weeks hokay?

.:. rule my world .:.

2010-02-11T14:37:00.002+08:00

before you know it, it's now Feb.

when I last checked, i just came back from Sabah.

and that was just after Xmas.

woooah.

went to the mak andam again on Tues, and finally, properly finalised stuff. we're suppose to do our fitting come April, which is less than 2 months away.

searching for nice photoshoot locations.

selected our house. now left with sending in the last few docs, and we are on the way to paying for a home.

am i excited?

yes, i am.

when i actually have time to reflect and think about it.

work's been pretty busy, but fun.

as always. :)

great colleagues.

awesome bosses. :p

alhamdulillah.

room's almost done.

he is to complete it this week.

i now want an iPhone. heh. :(

left 3 dulangs more to buy for him - including his ring.

found a henna person.

found the decorator.

guess we gotta postpone the first honeymoon to just before Ramadhan.

but that shoudn't be a prob.

i like how when i wake up, i see you next to me.

either you're sleeping too, or you're the one poking me awake.

haha.

and how i now see your clothes in the wardrobe, and know that they're yours and they're here to stay.

i love you, in spite it all.

looking forward to the picnic on sat.

and RED MARMALADE come monday. :)

happy Chinese New Year to all!!!

.:. who i am .:.

2010-02-04T12:29:00.002+08:00

it's lunchtime. i just had a quick lunch, cos i'll be having a heavier lunch later at 1pm.
wyd just went and said, "why you tersengeh-sengeh sorang2 nie?".
hahha.

because i just hung up on my lunchtime conversation with the man.
topic for today was: "what if we could rear horses in SG and ride them as transportation?"
hahahhahahhahaahahahhaha.
he comes up with the weirdest conversation topics and make me laugh so hard. lol.
hilarious lah.

and that's why i love him.
even though i've known him for 7 years, everything's always fresh.
and it's all a new adventure.
every weekend is something to look forward to, even though we might just be painting the room or lepak-ing at home with DVDs.
all because he comes up with the most hilarious conversation topics.
hahhahahahha.

we shall get the i-phone this weekend k.

and we shall decide on bintan or sentosa for your bdae. :)

next destinations on the list:
1) bali
2) phuket
3) cruise!!!!!!
4) langkawi
5) cherating?
6) australia
7) canada?
8) mexico!!!

.:. just haven't met you yet .:.

2010-01-17T09:53:00.004+08:00

i can't seem to access my tumblr blog, so i've alternating between the two to just crave this itch to verbal vomit.

hah.

i am already up, in spite of sleeping at 3am this morning.

i don't know.

there's just some mechanism in my body that forces me to wake up early every day in the mornings. i can never sleep past 10am.

ever.

whereas the man can hibernate all day long.

rabak.

i'm waiting for him to make his way here to paint the room.

i feel like eating nasi lemak.

shall go buy later with him.

buying the bed later.

money money money.

all out the window.

making space for him in the room.

it seems so surreal but he's moving in in less than 6 months time.

heh.

we were talking about the possibility of panicking on the wedding day.

well, there is a possibility.

but he told me he'll tell me way ahead in the day if he panics.

hahha.

so that i have more than enough time to skin him alive and drag his ass down for the nikah.

lol.

i told him we're doing this together. that in spite of all the eyes staring at him that night, the whole point of the nikah is solely for us.

i know we've been together for 7 years but hey, every experience is still a ride to us. still very new and fresh.

and very exciting.

======

i woke up with the batok anjing again today.

eeeeee.

need to faster2 eat cough medicine.

later become fever.

i don't like. :(

======

a lot of birthdays coming up.

his niece's.

berg's.

i realise the man likes quiet birthdays.

he doesn't fancy celebrating with tons of friends.

just me and him.

and it's enough.

heh.

i kinda figured what to do for his birthday, but i haven't really decided on what to get him as a birthday gift.

we shall see.

MOVED

2009-11-06T15:33:00.001+08:00

MOVED TO

www.wheresnadiah.tumblr.com

enjoy. :)

.:. who knew .:.

2009-11-02T16:12:00.004+08:00

how time flies.
i was looking at my work calendar this morning, and i realised how little time i have left to get the berkat and the dulangs and the cards.
haha.
it's gonna be december soon, so we gotta step.
1st trip out in 2010 is to settle the berkats/cards. either or.
it's a must sey.

i wonder what life will be like this time next year.
whether i'll be preggers or if i'll be damn busy with work or will be busy redecorating a new house or our room.

since my grandma might be living with my folks somewhat permanently, it seems, i shall now go scout for houses to rent.
we're going to HDB this Sat to settle trying to get a house.
bloody heck, we've been applying for so many times - this is our 4th application lah!
so irritating.

with my nenek living at the house, there's no space for us, so i suggested moving out and renting a unit for the time being.
if our application for boon lay meadows is approved, then i guess we'll need to rent a place till we get our OWN place in late 2013 or early 2014.
money money money.
sheesh.

though it would be exciting.
maybe rent a three-room flat first.
save a bit of cost first lah.
we'll see how.
though i'm planning to start my search sometime in December, and secure a house by June 2010.

am looking forward to the work event next year in Jan.
macam exciting like that.
must go for baju fitting all.
hahhaa.

i think being 25 and preggers is a bit too young though.
and i really don't see myself at that stage of my life yet.
married is ok.
but being a mom is a ...ermmm...weird.

let's meet up in November 2009, swiss people.
i feel like going to the beach, but it's been raining so heavily these days.
monsoon season coming lah.

booking sabah trip this weekend.
tak sabar.
best. :)

the fun and tribulations of growing up.

.:. the to-do list .:.

2009-10-29T13:07:00.002+08:00

getting a pedicure. pronto! - DONE
shopping for our new bed.
year-end xmas trip.
shopping for the wedding rings - both his and mine.
staff retreat in december.
dressing up for a nice dinner date.
seafood JB trip with the smu gang. :) - GOING NEXT WEEK
getting kick ass tix for chingay 2010. must!

======

got him a new watch last week.
nice.
i like it.
Nautica.
cost a bomb, but hey, it's well deserved.
so, ok lah.

need to save morrrrre.
weekend getaway this weekend.
best. :p

i need to de-stress.

sabah in dec 09.
i liiiiiiiiiiiiiike.

and i want to do a paraffin treatment.
hmm.
maybe on sunday night after we get back.
besssst. :p

.:. leaky leak leak .:.

2009-10-26T10:57:00.002+08:00

this weekend was crazy.
and i need a getaway.
and so, i am looking to the sabah trip at the end of the year.
i don't really care who i'm going with, as long as i actually get there.
haha.

i can be crazy.
i think anyone who's known me long and well knows how crazy i can get.
i don't think the man's surprised anymore at how absolutely insane i can get.
hahhaha.
he once told me that i'm the only risk he's taken in his entire life, and that at times, he's actually unsure cos he knows how crazy i can get, and he's just waiting to see whether that insanity goes up a notch and enters a whole new level.
hahha.

like yesterday.
when i really needed to pee and there was only a GENTS around.
since it's a soccer field and all.
and so, i didn't really care.
either the GENTS or peeing in a cup.
and there wasn't really a decent cup around.
so, the GENTS it was.
and i just went in with the man, and headed straight to the cubicle, which was next to the urinals. which by the way were being used by other men.
haha.

like i care.
and he just went, "b. you ARE crazy."
and just kissed me on the forehead.

yar, i know.
it's freaky ah.
but well, at times, i just don't care as long as i get what i want.
haha.

so, he had soccer matches two days in a row.
i didn't go to the one on saturday, cos it was a trial for another team. and so, i didn't want to waste my time and just kissed him good luck.
but i went to yesterday's cos it was with the starbucks gang.
and well, i know how competitive he can get when he plays soccer.
and i know how hard he works and plays on the field.
so, i know what he's like during a game and after it.

first anf foremost, i can expect him to get hurt. he always gets hurt in a competitive game.
cos he gives it his all, and somehow or rather, gets hurt.
but i also know that he won't show his pain in front of his friends.
lol.

cos he got kicked or hit or whatever (aku tak nampak sanagt - tak pakai glasses ah. oops.) at his current injury.
he got injured on saturday, so he has a raw gaping wound at the side of his right thigh.
and he got hit there again yesterday.
and he was rolling around on the ground for a minute or two.
and ainon was like, "nad. he's hurt! go run in and help him!".

and all the while, i just looked at her and went, "nah. no need. he'll be fine.", and continued eating my Lays chips.
hahha.

i know him that well, that i know that he wouldn't want me running in during a match, AND that he'll succumb to the pain when he's alone with me.
and well, i don't want to run and fuss over him.
that's gross.
that's just not us.

we're competitive.
both of us.
so, when he gets mad or frustrated on the field, i get frustrated and irritated along with him.
hahha.
which is funny actually.
but yar....

=====
on other matters, i got my pedicure.
like i said i would.
and i liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiike.
hahhaha.

my cat is smart.
he used to sleep on my bed a lot, but ever since, my grandmother moved into my room and is sleeping on my bed for the past week or so, he doesn't there anymore.
haha.
instead he sleeps on my mum's bed now, where i have been sleeping for the past week.
lol.
pandai kan.
kucing cute muuuuuuuute.
lol.
and he waits for me and the man at the door when we come back.
and joins us for dinner.
kucing gila, tapi setia abis.
swear.
awesome cat. :)

.:. life in a standstill .:.

2009-10-24T09:57:00.003+08:00

what i'm looking forward to:

getting a pedicure. pronto!
shopping for our new bed.
year-end xmas trip.
shopping for the wedding rings - both his and mine.
staff retreat in december.
dressing up for a nice dinner date.
seafood JB trip with the smu gang. :)
getting kick ass tix for chingay 2010. must!

======

i never thought i'd be this way when i turned 24.
like i never imagined my life like this at 24.
i wouldn't say i'm disappointed or that i have any regrets.
i've achieved what i've achieved so far.
a degree.
getting hitched by 25.
actually finding someone i love to share my life with.

ok.
that was never in my 'to-do' list. but hey. that was a bonus point thrown in. hahaa.

i'm not thinking much of anything these days.
it's work, home and fun over the weekends.
work's great.
i like it a lot, and i'm grateful i got the job when i first did.
i never thought i'd ever be working for this organisation, seeing as how i always got turned down whenever i applied for their internship positions.
but, hey, being a permanent/full-time staff beats that anyday!
hahaha.
and i swear i'm gonna work hard and make a name for myself here.
i'll stick it out in this division for the next 2 years on, i hope.
and then let's see where that'll take me.

i still would love to do something in the drama and arts department, so maybe i'll venture out there someday.

random.
i wanna learn how to pool.
and go for a facial every two months, i guess.

we still haven't decided where to go for our honeymoon.
maybe decembeer will bring some inspiration.

i tersasul the other day and called him my husband.
aiyo.
but it does feel like it.
cos we go home together.
and the other day when he left to go home to his own house, my 3-yr-old nephew kept asking where he was.
cos the boy did n't fathom the idea of him staying at his own house and not at my house.
haha.

i smile when i see with them kids.
because i know you love spoiling them and entertaining them.
hahha.
it's hilarious how abang and adik sticks to you.
and how my niece and nephews rush to you when you arrive.
i know you love playing with them, and i thank God i found someone who's family-oriented and knows his priorities.

baby,
kick some butt today and tomorrow k.
i know you will. :)
i won't be there today, but hey, i know you'll do good. tell me all about it when you come home later k, and i'll be there besok to be your pom-pom girl. :p

p.s: did i ever tell you how much i actually l_ve you?

======

i'm thinking of taking driving next year.
after the wedding, and after i've saved up a bit.
maybe end year.
a birthday gift for myself.
hahha.

.:. busy bumblebee .:.

2009-10-22T10:11:00.002+08:00

so, this space has become dusty as of late.
hahah.
seeing as how i have been rather busy busy busy.

not with wedding preps, though.
hahha.
that's still rather stagnant.
lol.

i'm thinking of getting a bigger bed.
but don't know when yet though.
we've been bed-hunting as of late.

and i feel like a birthday holiday trip.
hahha.
or xmas trip.
or sth lah.
make it happen, b.
december k.

time to go hardcore shopping for the man's dulang stuffs.
heh.

the nenek fell at her house the other day, and was in hospital for a week.
now, she's at my house.
and i have thus been reallocated to sleeping in my parents' room.
hahha.
cos she's taking my bed.
wonder how the care arrangement will be like.
whether it's permanent or not.
seeing as how she needs someone with her 24-7, i guess they might have to hire a maid for her.
heh.

the boyfriend has been very awesome.
and i love him.
i know he's it for me.
seeing as how he's still hilarious after all this time.
hahha.

"i love you, b."
"oh ok. thank you."

hahhahahhaha.

.:. warning .:.

2009-10-05T09:24:00.002+08:00

some people can be super unprofessional.

there's this website selling original coach merchandise, from purses, to wristlets to bags.
and i agree that the collection and price range are both good and affordable.

my colleagues and i wanted to buy a wristlet for another colleague's birthday, so we were asking the blogger/owner/seller if it's possible to deliver the merchandise to us as soon as possible. The said blogger then replied saying that we could get the gift by 1st oct 2009. so, me and my other colleague rushed out after office hours were over to make the deposit as promised on Friday, 25th September.

so, we threw my birthday colleague a tiny little celebration at work. her birthday fell on the 29th, so we gave her surprise on the 30th, thinking that the second surprise (the coach wristlet) would arrive on 1st oct, so it wasn't too bad.

guess what?
the 1st came, but no sign of the gift.
we waited until 3rd oct, before contacting the blogger, asking him/her if it's already been mailed out.
and gueessss what?!
it wasn't even mailed out yet.
and you know what her reason was?
because she was busy preparing for her wedding!
and she even went on as far as to tell us that we were going overboard asking her to send it asap.

what the fuck kan?
YOU promised to get it delivered by the 1st of oct and then, now, YOU say we were harrassing you.
best part is, we fulfilled our end of the bargain, paying up the deposit on the day we placed the order itself, as promised.

super unprofessional.

needless to say, we cancelled the order lah.
so bloody unprofessional.
you want to do a business, then do it properly.
none of your prospective clients/customers care if you're getting married or have personal issues or whatever.
if you know you're gonna be busy, then don't take any business for that period of time.

fyi, i'm planning for my wedding too.
but you don't hear me saying to my clients that i'll evaluate their cases later than promised cos "i'm getting married".

wtf right.

so, just to prewarn people out there.
me and my colleagues received bad service from this one.
so, hope you won't be the next victim.

.:. raya 2009 .:.

2009-10-04T11:48:00.012+08:00

.:. ok. irritated. .:.

2009-10-02T11:01:00.002+08:00

my God.
sometimes right, because of ONE person, your whole mood and plans can be spoiled.
in this case, it's the formidable future mother-in-law.
urgh.

you see, this weekend, me and the bf were supposed to go visiting to his grandparents and aunts' houses.
on our own with his sisters.
but both his sisters cannot make it.
and now, his mother conveniently wants to follow.

ok. i won't mind if she's 'normal' and all.
but she tends to like to show off.
and i don't like that.
neither does he.

so, i'm getting a bit irritated.
cos i think the reason she purposely wants to follow is cos we're using my dad's car, so macam boleh tunjuk2 lah.
urgh.
cos she's already GONE to all the houses that we want to go to, for heaven's sake.
and i don't want her following cos me and him would like to have a decent conversation with the rest of the family without her butting in.
urgh.

aku tengah bingit.

don't get me wrong.
she has her wonderful qualities, but i cannot stand to be around her + the 'little' brat the whole day.
more like the 'little' brat the whole day actually.
for her, i can somehow smile and slightly tune her out.
but the brat?!!!
fuck.
i will kill her, i think.

sheesh.
semalam aje, aku dah irritated nak mampus.

i mean, some part of me, i guess will grow to love his mom, i mean, i already like her now.
but the thing about her that peeves me is that she only acknowledges me or calls me because she wants something from me.

like last raya, when he was having a bit of a fall-out with his dad.
she called me to ask me to persuade the man to make amends with his dad on the first day of Raya.

then, she conveniently acknowledged me in her life, when she wanted to get NDP tickets and lamented that since i work where i work, i should be able to get it right?

oh my God.
tak irritating ke.
she only calls me when she wants something.
simple things like inviting me to the house for buka or raya, takde tau.
but things that will benefit her, then yes, i am suddenly the future daughter-in-law.

yes, i agree that at times, i do envy people who get to have a good relationship with their in-laws.
but man, she's playing with the wrong person.
maybe if i were a bit more like my mum, and have more patience,i could play it nicely.
but unfortunately for her, i am more of my dad's personality, so if she plays with fire, i tend to play with fire back.

don't get me wrong.
i have never made the man choose, and i won't.
we'll still go over every week or so, when we're married.
but i draw the line at a lot of stuff.
i don't care if the man does whatever he wants with his family/ mother, because that is after all his right and responsibility.
but i have my own views on what i should and should not or will and will not do.

you know, she's rarely around for me to even come over.
so, how to always be there?
then takpe.
if i do come around, i'm served with nothing.
ya lah.
aku tak expect dier masak kan aku. duh. like she does for her beloved son-in-law.
but at least, maybe a pelawa for a drink ke?
tu pun takde.

dah lah.
malas nak cerita.
nasib baik anak dier bagus.
so, i got no complaints in that department.
and yes, i know she raised him, and i should thank her and all.
but i think he really grew up when he first met me, and he really wisened up when he realised of the hardships his parents imposed onto him.
so, technically, she like raised him reverse-psychology style.

entah lah eh.
orang nie sumer macam2.
pelik abis.

.:. blowing off some steam .:.

2009-09-24T16:54:00.002+08:00

some people are plain fuckersss.
idiots to the bloody core.

dah ada kerje, nak job hop.
do you really think we'll help you forever?
shit you lah.

======
in other matters, me and the man were at home yesterday and we caught Singapore Idol.

how dumb can singaporeans get what with farhan in and syltra out?
oh my God.
it's so obvious the people who wasted their money were the teeny boppers.
sheesh.
cos i wouldn't waste a cent on it.

my favourites would be sylvia and nurul and duane.
cos they can sing.
and they know how to choose their songs.
very very smart people who truly understand their talent.

======

when you are pissed, you sleep.
it works for me lah.
hahha.
but well, i'm at work.
and i feel like cursing my client.
which i can't.
and well, i can't sleep either.
idiot idiot fucker.

.:. boisterous people .:.

2009-09-23T13:25:00.002+08:00

a bit late, but hey, better late than never.

SELAMAT HARI RAYA!!!

this year was a bit mundane.
maybe because of the economic downturn.
very slow and quiet.

but the man managed to meet the whole maternal side of the family.
and he was a bit overwhelmed.
but he was awesome.

this year was a bit different, cos he was officially introduced to the maternal side.
and i realised that by next raya, we'll be married already.
heh.
so funny.
yet so exciting.

there are many reasons why i absolutely adore you.
we might not be affectionate to one another when we're in public.
but there are many simple, private moments where you simply take my breath away.
even now.
even after this long.

we're having october projects.
me and him.
hdb.
painting the room.
choosing a nice colour.
best.

.:. ya-kooooons .:.

2009-09-11T10:30:00.004+08:00

when i was walking home last evening, on my way to meet the man, i realised that i'm quite happy with how my life's turned out so far.

how and what i've achieved so far.

alhamdulillah.

like when i was in primary school, and i looked at my older cousins who were back then in JC and university, and i thought, "wow. it would be awesome if i could study that well and get there too. think it would make my parents proud of me.".

and i always kept that in mind when i was in primary school, and all the way through secondary school.

and then, when i was walking yesterday, i was thinking how other people perceived me. cos i looked uber corporate yesterday.

plus, i overheard some dude in the train say to his friend that i looked successful, in not so many words.

hahaha.

so, it just made me wonder.

i'm happy where i am.

a good salary each month.

a great working environment. :)

awesome family.

and a great significant other.

so, i am blessed.

i set out to achieve my ambitions and goals and thank God, so far, i've been able to get what i hoped for.

i always figured i'd marry young, so i guess 25 is a good age like any other.

hahha.

======

the other day, i was reading about the PKNS squabble.

oh my God.

so bloody ridiculous.

kan bulan puasa, abeh gaduh.

tak tau malu.

so embarassing sey.

and you're supposed to be somewhat educated what.

still like this.

what the hell.

and bulan puasa, orang buat ibadah, do all the good will, nie takde kerje, nak gaduh.

ape je.

you should be damn ashamed of yourselves lah.

jatuh kan water face je.

urgh.

i was utterly disgusted, i tell you.

i thought it was in malaysia.

if it was in malaysia, it wouldn't be as surprising lah, since they're more radical and impetuous than people here in SG.

but here, in SG?!

time puasa lagi.

rabak.

plus, the saga in KL about the moving of the temple.

my God.

kindly practise racial understanding and harmony.

you live with people of different races for so many years, for heaven's sake.

i was reading a comment one of the residents said, about not wanting the temple to move cos the roads will get congested and it'll be noisy during Hindu events.

i felt like saying, and so, it's not noisy lah when you ahve your weddings every weekend of the month?. or the roads don't get packed during that event?

like bodoh right the comment.

so bloody ignorant lah these people.

=====

i want to dye my hair this weekend.

and i love her hair.

don't you? :)

.:. i stilll need you, i stilll care about you .:.

2009-09-08T14:44:00.003+08:00

the weekend was a blast.
simply brilliant.

friday night was buka at the paternal grandma's, which is always a riot.
then at night, i went to meet kam and shaz!!!!!!!
God.
i missed you babes. :)
yay.
next time must meet longer and just simply CHAT! :p
and kam, mana lah blog add kau?
email lah. :)

saturday saw me and the man at home - he fixing the fan and me doing some housework. my folks were away in KL, and so, our task for the weekend was to get a new fan OR fix it, buy a new phone for the house and GO GEYLANG!

he managed to fix the fan, so we only needed to make a trip down to jalan besar for the device that was actually spoilt in the fan.
after which, we went to arab street to buy murtabak.
and zipped off to Geylang thinking i could get me some dendeng.
please lah. we didn't even leave the carpark, cos we had tow ait for a slot for 20 mins, and we couldn't be bothered to waste our time.
sheesh.

which brought us to yishun for iftar with the swiss gang.
yay.
those who didn't attend, you were duly missed.
but we still rock lah!
the spread of food was scrumptious.
fad brought beef steak.
ya Allah, sedap gila!
hahhaha.

and i'm irritated that i am losing 2 weeks of puasa cos duh, 1) the period and 2) the haemorrhoids' meds.
boring sey.
tsk tsk.
cubaan cubaan.

and sunday was clean the kitchen day!
God, i love cleaning the kitchen.
siak ah.
macam makcik sey.
but serious. i do.
hahhaa.
the man was at it again with the fan, i was cleaning and my sis was baking.
best sak.
hahhaha.

i think overall this weekend was super fulfilling lah.
best to the max.
taking leave on Monday to go last minute raya shopping, and changing money for duit raya.
best.

.:. reflections on a semi-rainy day .:.

2009-08-27T11:56:00.002+08:00

i realised that we very much are a 'married' couple, even though technically, we're not.

sheesh.

like i buy him his clothes.
ok, use his money lah.
but i'm there to choose for him and give the thumbs-up/ green light.
every time.

how many of you do that?
where your other half needs your opinion when he goes shopping.
or YOU need his opinion where you go shopping.

i can still go shopping on my own, without him.
but only for clothes.
but for shoes and bags, i need him there for additional supportive advice.
heh.

and i wake him up.
i'm his 'affectionate alarm clock' according to him.
his sister finds it amazing that i am able to even wake him up.
cos when the rest of his family tries to, he doesn't bother waking up and completely snoozes their attempts.
so, kira kan aku nie ada magic touch or something.
hahha.

he has a tendency to get pissed when someone wakes him up, and it always happens to his siblings.
well, it happens to me too. occassionally. even after all these years.
but hey. i don't give a damn.
cos i fight fire with fire.
when he gets all pissy like that, i get pissed right back at him.
and he finds it irritating when i challenge him to a fight when he's just aroused from his stupor.
so, in the end, aku menang and he wakes up.
hahha.

i even get him his facial wash.
what the hell kan.
he doesn't even need to let me know which one it is, cos well, i know already.
so, see.
i'm like his wife already, only no certificate yet and kita not living together.

at times, bill dier pun aku kene bayar. but this one very rare lah. cos he's anal about paying bills on time. so, most of the time, he does it.

but hey, we're fair.
we transfer cash to the other, for bill paying, purchase of groceries, etc.

he even knows which sanitary napkin brand i use.
haha.
at first, he found it gross.
but i told him it's a natural thing and he has to DEAL with it.
so, now, he knows.
and he buys them for me, when i need him to.
hahhahahahhaa.

.:. let's do the walkie talk .:.

2009-08-27T09:45:00.002+08:00

i am sleepy.
and i have a migraine.

boring sey.
so, today, i shall just do reports.
and just shut the whole world out till 5 30pm, when i get to go hommee to my awesome bed.

======

my room needs to be re-painted.
it is now a pink room.
and the man would not want to live in a pink room.
and so, we will choose the new colour for OUR room soon.
we're thinking yellow.
i like the sunshine yellow colour.
bright and happy.
heh.

i wanna go watch beyonce and black eyed peas lah.
but tix are like $210.
oh my God.
but i think they're worth it.
any one wna go?
but you pay for the tickets yourself hor.
i will be broke if i pay for both.
heh.

the bf don't wanna go.
boring lah b.
go lah with me.
we've never been to a concert together.
come lah.
tsk.

he always thinks i'm crazy when i suggest weird stuff - like go to sarawak/sabah for the global music festival.
but he still does them.
cos i think without me in his life, he wouldn't have crazy fun.
hahaha.

migraiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine.

.:. this is beauty redefined .:.

2009-08-26T14:52:00.004+08:00

she is absolutely stunning. mary-kate. i call her the sane one. she's grown up well. :)

and what happened to him?! when did he get so big?.

but his kids with shar jackson and britney are damn cute lah.

=====

as you can tell, this is what i do during my lunch hour at work. haha.

fasting month mah. so, the Net is my best friend. lol.

and i am beginning to love 3.1 phillip lim dresses. shitz.

.:. we'll be going for this. will you? :) .:.

2009-08-26T10:34:00.003+08:00

.:. coz we'll always love you .:.

2009-08-25T10:37:00.002+08:00

so, the first day of puasa was like a mini Raya celebration.
hahha.
cos it was the little girl's 4th birthday, and so the whole family congregated at the matriach's house.
happy sey.
best.

pictures will be up later, cos as you can tell, i am blogging from work. heh.

you can really tell who's close to the kids and who aren't.
cos they're very comfortable with the people they're close with.
and me and the man absolutely loved buying the kids their presents.
the brother was so happy and pleased with his 'surprise' gift.
cos well, by right, he shouldn't get any gifts, since it's not his birthday.
but we got him one as a peace offering kinda gift.

and he was absolutely thrilled with it.
obviously, the man was the one who chose it.
but i agree.
it was super cool.
hahhaa.

the princess asked for pink dresses, and that's what she got.
4 dresses no less.
hahhaa.

======

i realised how Singapore is always talking about being eco-friendly and going green but in fact, Malaysia is doing a better job at practising it than preaching it.

i mean, more shops in Malaysia are using eco-friendly bags like those shopping bags and paper bags, while shops in SG are still using the dreaded plastic bags.

only bigger international shops like GAP and Nine West are using paper bags. even NET is. (but i don't know if it's a big international franchise.)

but shops like TopShop and local stores like Robinsons are still going at it with PLASTIC bags.

it's amazing that they preach so much, but very few are actually practising so.

.:. he's starting to look old already .:.

2009-08-19T13:46:00.003+08:00

pee master.

you'll never walk alone.
i promise you that.

pink post-its.
little turtle Bug staring back at me.

the face that reflects my own.

faraway windmills on a painted canvas.

strikethroughs on the calendar.

banana fritters.

we're black and white. ( i love you always.)

angel wings.

it goes Ring! Ring!.

we Go Green! :)

======

i should take a picture of my table one day.
you'll realise how messy it gets during the work day.
rabak.

.:. of tinted hair and tapered pants .:.

2009-08-18T09:44:00.002+08:00

the weekend was nice.
ok.
saturday was nice.

simple day out.
went to town in hopes of getting the little girl part of her present.
managed to find a nice top from Esprit for a steal - $18 only!
not for me lah. for the girl.
hahha.

and the man got himself a nice tee there, for the same price.
macam toot kan.
baju perempuan punye lah mahal.
but for guys, it's affordable sey.
tsk.

he offered to get me a bag, but we couldn't find any nice ones. heh.

saturday was also ya kun kaya toast day.
but eventually, we fell in love with the toast from Toast Box.
hahha.
we actually tried toasts from both outlets, but liked the latter so much, we went there twice!.
haha.
so jakun.
and the man started calling the toasts 'ya kun-s'.
as in 'let's go makan the ya-kun-s' when he was referring to Toast Box toast.
irritating kan.

and he got nice jeans from Marks and Spencers, while I, of course, ventured into their cookies and chips section, and came out of the store with food for work.
macam siak.
best part was, the first place he looked for me when he came out of the fitting room was the cookies section.
which was where i was exactly.
haha.
it's a bit freaky that he knows me that well.
hahahhahaahahahahhahahaha.

and i realised Marks and Spencers has really nice lingerie. really really nice ones for really affordable prices.
kau.
i was soo tempted to get some sey.
but i didn't.
cos i figured i'd come another time.

yesterday, i was on leave.
which was nice.
cos i got to laze about the house, and now i'm lazy to do work.
hahaha.

sunday night saw me at NUS UCC for the National Dally Rally speeches.
i was deployed for work.
but well, the food was awesome. :)
so, all's good.
hahaha.

i like my boyfriend cos he thinks he's so cool.
but in fact, he's actually really lame and hilariously funny and makes me smile almost all the time, at every freaking time of the day.
hah.

.:. blogger goes bonkers .:.

2009-08-17T20:01:00.001+08:00

so, the day when i wrote that i was falling sick, i did fall sick.
haha.
i weathered a 39.9 degrees fever.
which eventually came down, thanks to meds and the man sponging my forehead.
hahha.

======
things change in a relationship.
but it doesn't mean that change is bad.
change can be good. and interesting.

when u used to plant a kiss on my forehead out of nowhere, my first reaction would be how sweet it was.
but now when you do the exact same thing, the first thing that comes out of my mouth is, "dah kenape ngan u?".
hahhaha.

well, things change. :)

======

the next big project is the room makeover.
and i'm damn excited.
macam best gitu.
yay.
and it's something we can do together. :)

it's quite nice knowing that it'll be OUR room and no longer my room come next year.

2009-08-05T10:09:00.002+08:00

i am falling sick.
with flu, i think.
cos i woke up this morning with a whole throat full of phlegm.

yang irritating nye, this phlegm sumer tak nak keluar. all just stuck at the throat and chest.
and my nose is all stuffy.
maybe this could be due to my blocked ear lah.
cos for the past week of so, i've been waking up with a blocked left ear.
hmm.

never mind. eat cough syrup first.
hopefully, it'll go away.
i want to go KL!.
boo.

but a lot of the people at the office are down with flu.
and belum sempat recover, dah kene datang balek work.
kesian kan.
then kat work, terbatuk-batuk.
kesian right.
one of my colleagues sampai takde suara sey kene datang balek to work.
haiyo.

when you start working, it's no more main-main sey.
you work with so many types of people from so many backgrounds and age ranges.
they all have their own working style.
and you have your own.
sometimes, when you have an older colleague, kene lah amek hati dier sikit.
cos older people are so much more sensitive.

this month, i got a lot of cases.
mounting numbers.
tempat aku dah takde tempat nak letak boxes for cases anymore. dah terlalu banyak.
haha.
and i'm already taking up one whole cabinet.
nampaknye dah nak kene hijack another cabinet nie.
hahahahhahahahha.

my friend/ colleague asked me yesterday if i feel excited for the wedding.
hahah.
i do, but me and him, we take turns feeling excited.
sometimes, i get excited.
sometimes, he does.
heh.

i have this colleague at work who gets uber stressed.
scary lah she.
and she talks to herself.
alamak.
i feel like telling her, relax lah beb. chill.
smile more.
it'll chase away the wrinkles, and bring on the laugh lines.
scary merry.

luckily, aku bangsa stress pun ketawa.
hahhahaa.
and get excited talking about halloween costumes.
hahahahha.

arguments are part and parcel of a relationship.
i've learnt to pick my battles.
and let certain things slide.
the next day is always a brand new day.
never wake up mad.
no point to it. :)

.:. you're the one .:.

2009-08-03T10:43:00.002+08:00

a nation of H1N1-s.
that's what we are this National Day.

i realised how unpatriotic Singaporeans are, me included lah.
cos i'm planning to go up to KL with the family this weekend and all KTM tickets from SG to KL are sold out.
can you believe it?!

sheesh.
i'll be wearing red there though.
does that count as being sort-of patriotic?

KAM, SHAZ!!!
15th August.
we'll make it happen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)
hahaha.

i will be claiming my off day on the first week of puasa.
yayness. :)

how?
november to trengganu?
alex?
still up for that?

i love the man cos i think he's hilarious.
haha.
talking about 3 year and 5 year plans.
what's yours?

puasa dah nak dekat.
cepat sey.
and i have yet to get my baju raya.
shit.
or any kain for that matter.
ler.
pemalas abis.

and i discovered that M.O.F has really awesome mocha fraps.
better than Starbucks, i think.

saturday was the other nephew's 3rd birthday.
mad rush for presents.
but we got interesting pressies, i must say.

no, next birthday will be the little girl's.
and we're splurging.
rabak.
hahha.
theme: dresses and anything PINK!!!

.:. the ugly truth .:.

2009-07-31T20:59:00.001+08:00

so, the stupid cramps came fast and hard today, which rendered me helpless on the bed.
and so, when i eventually dragged myself to the doc's, it was rather disappointing to know, for sure, that once again, i am allergic to the medication which is used to cure such monthly woes.

and instead, got sent for a pelvic scan.
sheesh.
scan will be in august, so results will only be then.

i was googling menstrual woes some time over the week, and there's this condition, which i forgot the name was, where you know, the egg grows out of the tube and so, it's difficult to get pregnant and stuff.

i'm extremely glad that i have you.
that in spite it all, i know you'll still be there, by my side.
making me laugh.
you never fail to amaze me.
and today, once again, showed me why i really do want to end up with you.

that ultimately, we believe in the same things.
we believe in fate.
and staying together.
and working things out.
overcoming whatever is hurled our way.

for that, i thank God i have you, b.

======

and my feet are hurting.
any chance of a foot massage this weekend?

back to work tomorrow.
need to clear some cases.

.:. sicko babies .:.

2009-07-28T22:46:00.002+08:00

so, i took half day today.
last minute.
cos the man's ill.
and well, i never trust him to know what to do when he's ill.

luckily, i already dragged him to the doc's after work last night, so he already was equipped with the right meds.
it's just whether he takes it properly as instructed, after food, that i worry about.

so, after finishing some last minute work, i left the office at 2pm and headed over to his place.
as suspected, he hadn't eaten anything all day, so, me being his ever smart other half, got him food.
rabak ah b.
belum mandi semua.
teruk sey.

in the end, the person who fell asleep was me while i was playing with his hair, trying to get HIM to sleep.
hahahhahahahah.
ape je.
and i woke up only when he looked up at me and shook me awake so that i'll continue playing with his hair.
rabak.

i think i can hold off being sick till national day.
but i have a feeling i'll be spending the looong weekend in bed nursing some flu.
tsk.

bowling besok.
yay.
and it's part of work.
hahahha.

i know he loves me.
no one needs to point that out to me.
i think he may love me more than i can ever love him back.
but i do my share too hokay.
and he knows that too.
and that's all that matters.

p.s: i know i'm luckkkyyy. alhamdulillah. :)

.:. we broke you know .:.

2009-07-27T13:48:00.002+08:00

so, saturday, i had my bowling practice.
and the man decided to play a few games with me.
we're competitive.
even with each other.
heh.

the weekend brought around many surprises.
some pleasant, some not-so-pleasant.

the man has lost his voice.
and i worry that he's gonna fall sick again.
so, i'm getting him to the doc's later.
by hook, or by crook.

work has been busy sey.
sheesh.
semalam dah kene kerje.
today, work pun non-stop.
woww weee.
heh.

bila nak claim half day off eh?.
hmmm.
national day weekend sounds good.
long long looong weekend.

.:. dum dum di da de dum dum .:.

2009-07-23T09:30:00.002+08:00

this entry shall be feeling kakak-kakak a bit.
i apologise for that.
heh.

i was thinking about it the other day.
should we have kids, then the question of a suitable caregiver becomes a valid issue.
i mean, i love kids, but i'm not giving up my JOB.
i love it too much, AND working keeps me sane.
so, me being a Stay-At-Home-Mom (SAHM) is not even an option.
and the bf has the same drift too.

so, the next viable options are of course, our mothers.
i know my mum would be more than happy to do it, but i find it hard to ask her to give up her job for this.
to me, having a job is important.
maybe to her too.
and if she thinks the way i do, i understand how difficult it is to have to give up your livelihood, and the ka-chings that come with it.
heh.

so, you see.
that's hard too.

then the next option would be his mom.
don't get me wrong, i think she's a natural motherly figure.
BUT...
i doubt she'll nurture my kid to be a knowledgeable, educated being who'll have an interest in reading and doing any educational activity.
shit.

now, do you see my dilemma?

i know if i leave my kids in my mum's hands, they'll be nurtured healthily.
i mean i loved reading since i was like four lah.
and the library was never a strange or mysterious place to me.
it was a place i went every month.

i want that for my kids.
i want them to love learning the way i did, and i still do.
and if i leave them in the hands of his mom, i know that's never going to happen.

how eh?
ok. tak yah nak stress now.
we'll figure something out.
masih lama lagi.
hopefully some miraculous sign will come and knock us on our heads.

======

i've always found the idea of calling his mom my own a tad weird.
and like the norm, you are supposed to call your mother-in-law "Mother" after marriage.
i think i'll find it hard to do that.
she has her good points.
but well, i only have one mom.
and i think the word "Mother" should be reserved for her only.

hmmm.

======

i slept like a pig last night.
but like the man would say, "the pig slept like you."
i was out by 9 30.
what's up with that?!
nasib baik dah makan dinner with him earlier.
hahaha.

he called me around 10+, i think, and he asked, "b, how come you senyap je?".
and i went, "b. i sleeping."
and i hung up.
hhahahhahahahhahahahha.
rabak sey.

i hope you get to fetch me tonight, b.
cos it'd be nice. :)

.:. whoosh goes my bank account .:.

2009-07-20T09:09:00.002+08:00

weekend was good.
uber relaxing.
and i just wanted it to last forever lah.
pooh.
too bad monday's here and i gotta work.
sheesh.

friday saw us securing our mak andam.
paid the downpayment and my substantially 'hefty' bank account has now been reduced to a few hundred dollars.
what the hell.
heart pain hokay.
so sedih.

living in the hussle and bustle of Singapore every working week makes me want to just unwind and do nothing on the weekends.
just relax and lull the days away.
no appointments, nothing.
beeest.

this weekend shall be burnt AGAIN, i think.
cos on sunday, we have the district meeting and so, i think some of us, if not, ALL of us may be deployed for work.
on a sunday.
sunday leiiiiiiiiiiiii.

i like walking.
i always have.
i may not exercise much, or run.
but i try to eat healthy, with loads of fruits and water.
and munch every two hours or so for higher metabolism.
heh.
and i make it a point to walk every alternate night to JP or around JP so that i get some exercise.
i realise i only enjoy walking if it's for a purpose.
like to buy something, or get somewhere for something.
and i can brisk walk there.
heh.
like i like eating donuts at night these days.
so i go brisk walk my ass to JP and keep walking for at least 20 mins and then i go reward myself with the donut.
heh.
hahahhha.
dah burn calories then add on somemore.
lol.

i was reading about the Jakarta bombing.
ironic how most of the people who passed away are Caucasians.
and the best part, the bomb wasn't detected by the metal detector.
wah liao.
kindly step up the security and do not be complacent.
since you jolly well know that the people in your country have a tendency to be violent and irrational and have easy access to materials that can create a deadly device.

makes me realise that when you travel, you shouldn't stay at the top notch hotels.
look at the mumbai terror attacks.
and the recent bombings.
they all target the 5-star luxury hotels.
cos i guess they're targeting the rich people.

don't hate the players.
hate the game.
it ain't their fault that they made it big.
they just worked really hard and was willing to sacrifice along the way before their pockets filled with loads of ka-chings.
if you're somewhat jealous of the riches and privileges they have, then halllo!. work hard, work reeeally hard, be willing to sacrifice your time and luxuries and you'll, one day, reap your monetary benefits too.

the man has a toothache.
and si degil doesn't want to go to the dentist.
just go lah.
nothing wrong what.
aiyo.
my job is of course to psycho him.
hahhaa.
i shall try again today.
and see how it goes.

.:. boyfriend aku step writer pulak .:.

2009-07-17T09:48:00.002+08:00

b, there's a thing called the SPACEBAR and PUNCTUATION k b.
but nonetheless, what you wrote is still very sweet.
and don't forget.
my kaki is aching.
so, foot massage hokay?
thank you beeeeerrry much.
heh.

=====

today is my colleague's birthday.
happy birthday Dawn!
we're getting her a birthday cake.
hahah.

i love fridays.
they're awesome fun.

malam, i am going to see the mak andam.
with the bf.
i always dunno what to refer him as when they ask, "so, who will you be coming with?".
bf?
fiance?
entah lah.
when dah married, senang.
husband and nothing else.

though honestly, between him and me, he knows which mak andam i'm going to take.
hahaha.
nie macam redundant nye trip.
hahahhahaha.

=====

in spite of the fact that we're from oppoiste genders, you will still respond my nonsensical whims and fancies and merepek questions about girly stuff like shoes and even mak andam.
hahaha.
that's why even though we're busy and have had countless disagreements, we're still best friends.
and yar.
aku pun rasa gitu jugak, best friend.
i'm sticking to the one with teh ok2 baju but superb photography.
thanks!

.:. view from the 26th floor .:.

2009-07-16T09:24:00.002+08:00

my daily routine in the mornings is to normally eat breakfast while i read the daily news on Channel News Asia.

these days, there seem to be a semi-huge crackdown on loan-sharking activities. today, it was reported that two Malay boys got charged for involvement in such crimes. first, i never knew there were malay loansharks too. and second, what the heck. boys sak. only 16 and 18. or something like that. when i was that age, all i could think about was surviving school. what idiots. ruin your life for no good reason.

last night, i was talking to Nazir. i'm glad he's done well since when we first met him. i mean, for someone who got expelled from secondary school to be able to enter ITE through private N and O levels is amazing, me thinks. i mean, some people can't even master decent 'O' level grades when they're under the supervision of MOE's teachers in school. but this boy/ growing man, managed to do it on his own. wasn't easy but he gave it his best. and now, he's in ITE. alhamdulillah.

apparently, a few of the maxout kids are with him in ITE. syahin and nasir. and he mentioned another few, which i cannot recall now. hahah. padahal semalam je baru berbual. hahah. dah tua abis. anyway, i was very pleasantly surprised to hear that nasir was also in the same class with him in school. that has to be given a big ass WOW. this is the same boy who had to undergo a trial for statutory rape and was actually sentenced to living in a Boys' Home. he's still living there apparently, and will only be out in August this year. but hey, oh my God. you're in ITE. awesome! :)

compared to them, i had it easy. all i had to do was study and not worry about family/social problems and monetary issues. but they're really walking convictions that if you really want something, and you have someone there to kick some hard sense into you and you choose to listen and do something about it, you can really get somewhere. even in tough Singapore.

.:. during the heyday .:.

2009-07-15T20:42:00.002+08:00

i was walking home just now, and i was thinking that it would be nice to actually walk home with the man. haha. cos he has this thing, where he likes fetching me from work since he ends 30 min earlier than i do.

though today, i was walking home alone, cos he was out playing soccer with his colleagues.
and then it struck me.
that this Raya would be my last raya as a technically single woman.
hahha.
and i just thought, "wow.".

=====

i was reading MinahSpeak at work just now.
it's a damn hilarious website lah.
you guys should google it sometime.
hahha.

=====

work has been... hectic.
a retreat's coming up at end of September, and i'm kinda excited about it lah.
hahaha.
so fast dah 7 months at work.
very very fast.
i like. :)

=====

time to decide on a mak andam.
time to check out the other mak andam.
but hey, i'm damn malas.
tsk.
horrible lah.

=====

i feel like eating chocolates.
donuts.
hmmm.
of all chocolates, i think donuts are the most evil.
at least for me lah.
cos i love melted fudge.
and the best donut has got to be from Donut Empire, the ones which are simple with melted choc on them.
oh my dear God.
sedap giler!
i actually love the man even more when he drops by the shop and gets me some.
sedap sak.
eviiiiiiiil.

=====

i am hoping for a holiday in trengganu this November.
what say you, alex?
and maybe next month, during the national day weekend, me and the man were thinking of going up to KL.

anyone interested?

=====

i am living in a chocolate town.
how about you?

.:. orange coloured sky .:.

2009-07-15T10:03:00.004+08:00

Dear Husband-to-Be,

i remember our first ever phone conversation rather vividly. we were both watching American Idol and commented on one of the female contestants - i think it was that Kimberly girl who went on to date David Cook. i still remember the sing she sang - something about 'wham!bam! orange coloured sky...'. hahah.

i never thought we could talk so much. we only hung up at 7 the next morning. my, my. i never talked so much to a guy before. haha.

to be honest, i wasn't really sure where we were heading initially. i knew you meant something great to me when i was in east timor and i wished you were there with me too. that was something different. cos hey, i don't go around missing guys. lol. i never gave a rat's ass about all the other guys i dated. but you. you were somehow different.

i still never really knew where we were heading even 2 years down the road. hahha. i just thought, "hey. what we're having here is fun. and you're happy. and i'm happy. so all's good.". you knew way longer than i did that this was it for you. i was still floating around, somewhere. hahaha.

it only really really hit me that this was it for me was when the accident happened. i never thought you'd stay, much less own up to the whole thing. ok. fine. i knew you'd stay. but owning up to your mistake to my family was never something i imagined you'd even think about, much less actually do. hahha. that showed me something about you - that i really did mean a lot in your eyes, and that whatever it is, you're in this for the long haul.

and that was when i knew.
cos you were really really nice and supportive then.
not that you aren't now. you are still. haha.
it's just that i never expected you to bother learning how to tie my hair and help me 'survive' with one functional arm. hahha. and you were always there when i had to whine about shit. haha. that, i found truly amazing.

you are many many things.
and i don't expect i'll know all of you before we wed.
i look forward to learning about you, even now.
the little surprises that you drop on me.
how you tell me you love me, and i feel it so.

i can't promise you much on this new chapter that we're embarking on.
cos i don't want to break those promises.
but i'll tell you now - i'm in it for the long haul, through thick and thin. in sickness or in health, and honestly, till death do us part.
they're not sweet nothings, and you of all people know that. we've been through a rollercoaster these part 6 years, but i wouldn't cahnge it for anything. we're learnt, and grew. as individuals and together as a couple, a team.

i fell for your humour and believe it or not, your height.
hahha.
and then i continued falling.
lol.
i haven't stopped since.

"initially, when i saw you, i was really interested.
your smile really weakened me then.
i knew why i wanted to end up with you when you left for east timor.
i missed you more than ever.
two weeks seemed like years.
i knew we were meant for ecah other wgen you went through what i would consider hectic enough for a potential break-up - NS.
you were damn supportive.
i knew i wanted to spend my entire life with you when we landed ourselves in deep shit - the bike accident.
how i wanted so much to take care of you then.
how guilty i felt.
how i wanted to make it right, etc.
b, i love you, b.
i hope you'll allow me to be that person you come back to at the end of the day.

Your future husband (insya-Allah),
Sazali bin Sulaiman."

and yes, b.
you are that one person i want to come home to everyday for the rest of my life.
i love you more than i'll ever show, or let you know.
but hey, we both know.
and that's all that matters. :)

love,

your forever pekak bacin a.k.a wife-to-be

.:. we do it - sister sledge style .:.

2009-07-13T20:45:00.002+08:00

saturday night was one of the best nights i've had in a long while.
maybe because we kinda had full attendance, and we hadn't met up for so long with one another; it was just simply fun to get all goofy and hysterical over each other's weird antics.
hahhaa.

saturday night was alex's belated 21st birthday gig at st regis. it was a small party, but nonetheless, it was a hoot. lol. what with boggle and taboo and whatever naughts.

i realised that family will always be family. no matter how old you are, or how long you've been apart. you'll still have the hardest laugh with each other, and capture the best moments together. :)

we've all grown up; shit. most of us are working already and opening different chapters of our lives. but hey, when we're together, we're still the same old kids hanging out at west coast/ lau pa sat back in the day. heh.

and we should do this more often. like book a room and just bunk in together for a night of hilarious games and laughter. lol.

======

so, me and the man have graduated from the kursus rumahtangga.
hahha.
so merepek.
but not bad lah.
cos me and him, we can entertain each other quite well.
we can spend the whole day together, and at night, we can still continue talking.
what the heck kan.
tsk.

the course makes you realise why you actually love the other.
like at the end, we were told to write the reason(s) why we love the other.
and then share it to your other half.
his list and mine were super hilarious.
cos i realised we're very nonsensical.
but nonetheless, what he wrote was sweet.
heh.

ok.
i feel a migraine attacking my brain now.
so, i shall continue another time.

next year, baby!
july 2010.
hah.

bowlingggggggg.
taboo.
of $1K rings.
cupcakes with shoes and bags.

.:. best party ever .:.

2009-07-12T22:22:00.008+08:00

.:. running around twisted panties .:.

2009-07-08T21:25:00.010+08:00

.:. chilli and cheese .:.

2009-07-08T09:35:00.002+08:00

i have this colleague.
who is so uptight and wound up so tight that she's so scared of loosening up.
God...
i feel like asking her out for drinks.
she can have as manh cocktails as she wants if that'll help her loosen up a bit and let down her hair.

looking at her makes me stressed sak.
even the stacks of files around my table don't make me freak out.
but looking at her all stressed stresses the shit out of me.
shit.
i hate all this negative energy.

there are some couples who after years of being married no longer talk to one another.
like when i called a client of mine and spoke to his wife.
and she kept saying that she doesn't have a clue of where he is, what he does, where he gets his money from.
and here i am thinking, "shit. you sleep in the same bed, and have kids. my God. i mean you obviously f**ed a few years back, cos your youngest is only 2. so why? are you not talking?".
i really don't get it.
you live in the same house.
and your husband's the sole breadwinner.
and he's the one giving you money.
don't you even talk to one another?

sometimes, my clients' kids are damn cute.
hahha.
like when i call to talk to their parents, and they answer the phone and end up talking to me.
ahhaha.
and when they come with their folks to see me, they can be damn cute lah.
hahaha.
so, see. this job has its perks.

.:. NDP ralllllllie .:.

2009-07-07T11:04:00.003+08:00

so, i am down for the National Day Rally.
it's on the 16th of August on a sunday.
shits.
but ok lah.
should be all fun. :)

we're getting a colleague of mine a pamper hamper for her birthday.
hahah.
like stuff to treat and relax herself after work.
super nonsense.
lol.

the man's down with flu.
since the weekend.
so i finally made him go to tge damn doctor yesterday.
it's just normal flu according to the doc, but his sorethroat's still bugging him.
so, since he's so carefree and super careless, i'm always the one who has to monitor his progression when he's sick.
irritating kan.
so, if his sore throat's still around by thursday, i'm dragging him to the doc again.

i have loads of pictures of the people i'm close to at my desk.
but the nearest pic i have with me, which means that it's within arm's length, is a picture of the man and me.
it's a super merepek photo.
but it makes me laugh all the time.
so, well, it helps to destress me when i'm irritated with my clients.
lol.

i have a colleague who just resigned.
and she's only been around for a month or so.
her leaving made me realise that this job isn't easy.
either you're up for it, or you get squashed.
cos in this line, people's problems become your own.
when they try to kill themselves, you have to get involved.
when they want to take their children out of school, you step in and advise them otherwise.

so, in more ways than one, you are their helpline.
the one tangible thing they hold on to when all hope is lost.

i have one client scheduled for today.
i'm planning to call a whole lot more.
and make gazillions of job referrals.

i shall take my next leave in august.
heh.
after the ND rally.
lol.

my weekends are packed.
but there's still so many people that i haven't had a chance to meet up with.
shits.
last weekend is already booked for the swiss gang.

shaz and kam?
whennnnnn?

.:. update .:.

2009-07-06T16:37:00.003+08:00

i got my NINE WEST!.. :)

courtesy of the wonderful husband-to-be.
hahaha.
best kan.

it was cheaper than we had both expected.
so, ok lah.

now i need to get him the Nautica watch set.
next pay k baby.
wooooooooooo hooooooooooo.

.:. we make good buddies ah b .:.

2009-07-06T13:17:00.002+08:00

i know where you stand on having children.
and i know we both hope we'll have biological ones.
but i also know where you stand on adopting children, and that reassures me.

i know where you stand about parental caregiving.
when we're older and the time comes to care for our parents.

i know what you feel about buying a house together.
and settling down and investing on one.

you know how much i spend.
and i know how much you spend.

i've known you for this long, and you still surprise me.
pleasant or not, i'm here to stick it out.

and thank God i'm sticking it out with you.

i know you love me.
even without you having to say it.
it's just in the way you are with me.
the way you treat me good.
and with respect.
and i know you know i love you too.
even though i rarely say so to your face.
it's just in the way we are.

we bicker, but we end up laughing.
hahha.

======
dinner with the SMU gang was, as usual, loads of fun.
haha.
pictures will be up soon.
the theme was red, white and blur, since well, it was USA's independence day.
and the best prize goes to..................
PUT PUT!!!!
lol.
you'll understand why when you see the pictures.
hahaha.

we always do this kind of crap.
themed stuff.
and i like it.
cos most of us are game for it.
hahahahah.
which makes it all the more fun. :)

for my wedding, korang pick the theme lah hor.
decide k. :)
and make it uber fun.

======
now, i don't think the man's idea of having a popcorn and candy floss machine/vendor at the wedding is merepek.
i think it'd be quite fun.
hahaha.

oh sugar high.

=====

full week this week.
workkkkkkk.
saturday is graduation. (yeay. we finally made it!)
followed by alex's birthday shindig.
and maybe a drop by at abang danial's wedding.
sunday is the kursus rumah tangga (again!).

and then i'll be pooped.
shits.

.:. sex! .:.

2009-07-05T21:34:00.003+08:00

so, this weekend was full of wedding stuff and errands to run.

friday night saw us at the mak andam.
we liked what we saw.
and what we discussed.
now, to see one more prospective mak andam, and i'll be making my downpayment in two weeks' time.

we both agreed having a wedding video is simply a waste of time.
so, we decided to stick with the photographer and mak andam.
though i still would like irfan and intan to take photos for the wedding.
i think they can provide a more personal touch. :)

saturday saw him driving me to school to collect my grad gown.
and then it was fooling around time at home with the whole get-up.
heh.
and we caught p.s. i love you.
well, he caught it for the first time ever.
i've watched it for God-knows-how-many-times and i still love it.
he loved it though. lol.

and today was spent at the kursus rumahtangga.
i think the instructors were amazed at how disgustingly merepek we can get.
cos we kept laughing and smiling.
hahaha.
me and him had a lot of private, inside jokes like we always do.
so, we managed to entertain ourselves,
hahahha.

i realised that the course could either make or break you.
cos they ask rather intimate questions and make you ponder with your choice of partner.
but well, if you've got a strong foundtation with your other half, then you got nothing to worry about. :)

i know we're not perfect, b.
and i'm glad we have our own opinions, and that we stand by them, even if it means we're on the opposite sides of the room.
and stop answering all the SEX questions.
people are going to think that we're bloody perverts lah.
sheesh.

.:. you and i - the wacko duo .:.

2009-07-02T14:00:00.002+08:00

the scratchy throat's playing up.
i am on leave tomorrow.
i feel the flu coming around.

so many people down with flu in the office.
sat is a colleague/friend's birthday.
so, happy birthday XY!!!!! :)

you know, i asked him this when we were about to sleep last night.
"b? you excited tak?. this time, next year, we'll be merely a week away from our wedding."
he didn't say anything, but i can hear him smile.
lol.
i swear i can.
like how he can hear me smile.
lol.

and when we came back to my house last night, i said to my mum, "ma! i'm home!. with zali."
and then i whispered to him, "next year, it'll be WE'RE home.".
and he just gave me the most goofiest smile ever.

hahahahha.
i am actually super excited.
like butterflies in my stomach kind of excited.
hahahha.
not to get all dolled up and dressed up.
but to actually be called his wife.
hahahaah.

that's enough of a high for me.

.:. rainy mornings .:.

2009-07-01T09:55:00.002+08:00

as i smartly predicted, my client, who was to turn up at 10 30, totally forgot about our 'date' together.

luckily, i called her to check, and now a phone interview has been scheduled for later in the afternoon.

i am having sporadic cramps.
tsk.
like siak.
i hate this kind of crap.
if nak cramp, pagi-pagi buta lah cramp.
then can go doctor straight.
nie tak.

macam siak.

.:. errr?. just to be safe? .:.

2009-06-30T09:40:00.002+08:00

so, my client just called, saying she lost her job and still needs our help.
God.
i actually felt disappointed.
cos i was so proud of her for getting a job in the first place.
and now, well.
shit happens.

i shall go look for jobs for her.

and i might ask her to reschedule her appointment.
since she said she can't make it for the morning one cos her hubby's ill and she needs to bring him to the doc.
so, since i am wary of the H1N1 scare, i shall postpone her appointment to next week while i look for jobs for her.

heh.

=====
last night's weather was nice.
we walked in the rain.
he to the train station and me to the library.
we're both slightly fluish.
but mine kinda went away last night.
but i couldn't sleep last night.
weird lei.
and now, i'm sleepy.

i need to do LOTS of job referrals today.

.:. you pandai ah baby .:.

2009-06-29T12:41:00.003+08:00

i don't know about the rest of the couples out there, but me and him, we've always viewed our relationship as a partnership.

as a team.

like i'm good at tactical stuff, and he's better at physical stuff.
where i know something, he might know another.

and my 9-year-old cousin who was visiting from Jakarta asked.
"is the man sitting next to kakak yaya her future husband?"
hahahhaha.
i cannot tahan laughing.
what sey.
heh.

my gastric's acting up.
and i hate it.
but hopefully, it'll go away by this week.

and my aunt said next year's the big year.
we, me and him, were driving the other day.
and we couldn't believe that it's actually happening.
what with the kursus rumah tangga and all.
ahhaha.
it's just so... unbelievable lah.
cos years ago, it was just still so far away.
and then, it's here.
it's next year.
like i said, unbelievable.

i have to admit i'm lucky.
i mean i'm actually getting hitched with someone i'm in love with.
not just someone i care and love.
but that i'm actually crazy about.
still.
after all these years.

there are still those moments that i look at him and say, God. we're still together. and you're still here.
or.
man, you're actually quite hot.
though that one can only pertain to me, cos after all, beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder lah kan.
hahha.
so, i still think he's hot.
other people no need to think, also can.
hahaha.

we have come to a conclusion.
we will now watch movies at Great World City.
cos they have awesome seats.
hahahahhahahahahahhaah.

.:. MEN .:.

2009-06-29T10:47:00.003+08:00

sometimes, men can be...well, men.

they do things on impulse.
and impetuously.
and in a rash state of mind.

sometimes, they don't think.
and let emotions take over them.
tsk.
and they say women are driven by emotions.
women are... tactical.
we resolve our matters with smiles on our faces, but with a goal in our minds.
and eventually, everybody's happy.

i am on leave on friday.
yay.
cos i have to take my grad gown. yay.

weekend was too fast, i think.
was sick on sat, so that was burnt.
watched transformers yesterday.
like finally.

what is a wedding date anyway?
i was doing the quiz on facebook. and i got 31st dec, i think.
ape je.
i'm not particular about all these date stuff.
i mean, we've been together for 6 years, but i honestly don't remember us celebrating our anniversary.
cos it's not really about the date lah.
you can always celebrate it any time you want.
like when we finally came up with a date for next year, it was chosen cos all the mak andam, caterer, decorators can make it on that date. hahahha. so, technically, they chose for us. we didn't have a luxury, not that we were planning on any particular date actually. haha. we figured regardless of what date we get solemnised on, we'll just celebrate still on the 15th of dec. so, no diff.

anyway, this sunday is the kursus rumah tangga.
heh.
it's a whole day course.
boring.
i plan to sleep.
how about you?

bai, when's yours, babe?
and when the heck are we all meeting lah, swiss gang?

.:. beach getaway .:.

2009-06-25T13:53:00.002+08:00

anyone interested in going on a holiday to phuket in november?

during the Deepavali holiday between 13 Nov to 16 Nov?

how?
how?

.:. the ultimate face-off - SOCCER .:.

2009-06-24T09:12:00.003+08:00

i had a nice time last night.
simple. :)

the man played soccer last night with his work people.
and against my dad.
cos my dad knows his work people and management.
complicated.
another story for another day.

so, he dropped by my place to wash up and get his facial foam from me.
hahhaa.
and then, we went down to the little bbq pavillions cum park at my area and just lazed around while he ate dinner.
it was nice lah.
cos i don't normally sit there and actually enjoy the serenity that is my residential area.
hahahhaa.
so, it was something different.

like the other day, we went to check out the Jurong West Central Park next to SAFRA.
it's not that bad a place actually.
but we're two gundus who were running around playing with those mechanized helicopters you see so many kids playing with.
yar.
his latest collectables: those helicopters.
hahahhahahahaha.

by the way, SAFRA Jurong is nice. the pools look tempting, but other than that, there's nothing much there.
hmm.
i still prefer the water park at the Jurong Stadium or the one at Chinese Garden, if you asked me.

this weekend shall be FAMILY time.
hahhaa.
think i'll go and see my cousin's baby this sat.
and then go over to my grandma's on sunday.

we're supposed to go see his grandparents one of these days.
maybe next weekend ah.
i'm trying to book an appointment with the mak andam next friday, cos i am on LEAVE!.
hahha.
i got a lot of leave. lol.
cos to date, it's been six months of work, but i've only taken like 3.5 days of leave.
hahahhahaha.

ok.
hungry now.
will eat breakfast.
bye!

.:. jimmy choos for running amok .:.

2009-06-19T09:29:00.002+08:00

ok.
i want to hunt down a pair of Jimmy Choos.
does anyone know where to get them?
Taka maybe?
or Raffles City?

=====

last night we had dinner/supper at Carousel.
by we, i mean the parents and i.
to celebrate my mom's birthday.
and after all these years, my dad still gets my mom's age wrong.
hahhahahhahahahahhaha.

so, i took the Lexus for the first time yesterday since my dad got it on Monday.
wah.
damn fierce nak mampus ok.
if you think the Camry is nice to drive, B, try being in the Lexus.
oh my God.

it's like you're in a private world of your own lah.
power!
it drowns out the sounds outside, so you really only hear yourself and the radio.
hahhaa.
and it was a right move to choose the black colour lah.
very nice.
hahhaha.

ok.
now i better start working.
morning y'all!

.:. today is my mommy's birthday .:.

2009-06-18T09:09:00.002+08:00

so, i am not seeing clients today.
thank God.

one appointment was scheduled yesterday, but the gundu didn't turn up.
and frankly, i don't think he deserves the money we're giving.
but i pity the kids.
but bapak dier tak guna.
macam penyagak.
God.

in my line, i often seen kids get caught within the ridiculous poverty cycle that their parents have chosen for them to be in.
bukan nye susah sangat to get out of it.
as long as you work hard and stress to your kids the importance of education and how far it can take you, you'll be fine.
but no.
you got drug addicts, thieves and sluts as mothers, so how now?

every time i do an interview, i pray that the parents will mend their ways.
like i went to this home visit the other day, and the girl's only 17.
but she's stuck in this disgusting living condition that her dad calls home.
oh my God.
no water.
no electricity.
the house has not been cleaned and dusted for like forever, cos i can feel the dirt on my feet the moment i stepped into the house.
and the dad claims he cannot work anymore cos he's ill.
he's only bloody 57 and please lah.
you are not that ill, man.
you can still walk around, smoking away like a choo choo train.
and spend the whole day at the coffee shop downstairs.
how sey like that?

and then your daughter's stuck.
shit lah.
at times, i wonder why such people even become parents.
urgh.

but then, there are those people out there who really try hard to change.
like this client of mine.
who is super proactive in her kids' education.
and makes sure they do good in school.
and when her husband got retrenched, she made sure he got a job on his own and not relied so much on us.
once her kid turns 18 months, she's going back to work, and hopefully, by the end of the year, they'll all be self-reliant.

you see.
there are people who really want to change.
and such people make my job so much more worthwhile.

there are those old folks who actually are grateful when you come and visit them.
even if it's just for a little while, just to chat, as part of your job.
they're still so happy.

it's not easy working in this line.
cos you see the ugly side of people.
people stuck in custody battles, tugging their kids one side, and the other.
homeless people.
sick people with HIV and nowhere to go.
deaths.
cos they're really sick.
deaths cos they choose it to be their escapade.
druggies.
thieves.

but well, you learn to deal.
you learn to leave whatever you see or hear or deal with in the day behind the moment you switch your laptop off.

but hey.
i love my job.
:)

.:. turn table .:.

2009-06-17T21:46:00.002+08:00

you know how i gripe and whine and get all pissed at my undeserving clients?

well, at times, there are ones who just make you smile your brightest smiles and those who make all the work you do simply..worth it.

as usual, i did my afternoon calls to my clients, which always make me sound like some makcik kpo, cos i end up talking long ning nong stories with them, cos the purpose of the calls is to get an update on their situation and family.

however, the particular call i made in the afternoon wasn't simply random chatting.
i actually got my breath stuck in my throat.
and for a moment, i was oh-so-speechless.

i was talking to my client's 9-year-old daughter who had just told me that her dad (my client) was out to the shop. and when i asked about her mum earlier, she had told me she wasn't around too. so, i probed further lah. so, i asked if her mum was at the doctor's, seeing as how the mum had a history of medical problems.

the answer she gave me was not something i had expected.

she went,
"takkk. mak dah meninggal.".

when she said that, i simply froze.
cos i just couldn't believe it.
cos the family had only seen us in May 2009, and now a month ago, this little girl had lost her mother.

and the family has young kids hokay.
just her and her 8-year-old brother.

some days when you are faced with such situations, you thank God that the people you love are still around you.

rest in peace.
and i thank God we managed to help your family in time.

.:. case of the ex-es .:.

2009-06-15T21:51:00.002+08:00

oh don't worry.
ex-es on both our ends will always remain ex-es.
thing about us, is that we acknowledge that there, of course, were previous people that we both dated before we met each other.
i mean, harlo.
we ain't saints.
so, yar.

anyways, i found out about the article from my ex.
who work em up at bloody 7am to let me know that me and my 'fiance' looked great.
hahhaa.
duh.
of course we do.
we're happy.
lol.
:)

anyway, it was a nice and extremely surprising wake-up call. thank you very much. if not, i think i would have been late for work.
hahaha.

speaking of ex-es, i met his ex for the very first time when they had that soccer match at tampines safra.
oh my God.
i never saw her as competition.
that was before i actually saw how she loooked.
now, after i've actually seen how she really looks like, oh my God.
i reaffirm my stand that she is nowhere near my league.
hahhahaha.
i'm not talking about looks ok.
i'm just talking about how certain people have IT and others just...well, bland into the background.
God.
what were you thinking, b?
you really aimed really high after her ah b.
lol.
nasib baik the feelings between you and me were mutual.

======

it's still sweet when you send me random messages telling me your darkest moments, and why you love what we have.
i seldom profess my feelings to you, but i know you know they're there.
through the things i do for you.
and the way i do things for you.

:)

so, b.
are we ready?
kursus rumah tangga next month.
hahhaha.

.:. shall weeeee? .:.

2009-06-15T21:22:00.003+08:00

as you can all guess, we are super unconventional.

i never thought he'd do it, but he did.
and i can't say that i'm not impressed.

years before, i used to imagine that when the time came for my husband-to-be to ask for my hand in marriage, he'd actually do it discretely, behind my back.

wellll...
the reality was that it wasn't that discrete.
but it definitely did take a lot of courage and integrity.
and dignity.
and for that, i'm grateful i'm ending up with him.
for all the hard work he's put in, well, i guess a 'yes' was the least he should be rewarded with.

he asked my father for my hand alone.
by himself.
on a totally random evening.
no hassle.
no big deal with throngs of family members around.
just something private and intimate.

i remember telling him once before, that should any guy ask for my hand in marriage, he should have the balls to ask for it HIMSELF from my dad, no matter how intimidating my old man can be.

what surprised me most was that he really knew what he wanted.
he didn't stutter, nor fumble.
he said it with conviction.
and he waited for the response.

:)

very amazed.

it's true what they say.
banyak cubaan and dugaan when you're planning for your big day.
sooo true.
haha.

.:. batam central .:.

2009-06-09T09:32:00.002+08:00

so, the man's good already.
thank God.

it's only tuesday, but i keep thinking that it's someday later in the week.
sheesh ke-babbb.

work's been good.
busy.
but that's good.
i'll be away for course the next two days, which means that there'll be loads of work awaiting my arrival on Friday morning.
hahhaha.

the agenda for batam is...
to just relax.
and not do crap.
hahaha.
am on leave on Monday.
maybe i shall run errands. :)

heh.

next stop:.... BINTAN!

p.s: i already got my outfits for diyana's wedding. i got two. just in case. sheesh. knowing the fickle-minded person i am. hahhahaha. now we shall hunt for the man's outfit when we get back from Batam.

.:. long gone, no? .:.

2009-06-08T11:02:00.002+08:00

i realised that i've been away from this space for a bit longer than usual.
heh.

when you care for someone, it matters if your other half is ok.
i guess it's true what they say, for better or worse, in sickness and in health.

went to harborfront yesterday with the man after the URBAN interview.
he was already complaining about his tummy not feeling well.
but him being him, being uber stubborn, he refused to take any meds.
until he started throwing up.
i swear sey.
degil nak mampus.
i told him already that he should have eaten something when he came over in the morning.
but he only had his one proper meal at 5 in the evening, which aggravated the gastric juices.
damn.

i told him to just leave the damn car there and just ask my sister to pick it up the next day.
by then, he'd thrown up thrice in the spade of 15 mins, and still, he wanted to drive.
wah lau.
damn stubborn sak.
and of course, we got into an argument about leaving the car there or me allowing him to drive back to my place.

eventually, he drove. but i think i was damn irritating, cos i kept asking if he was ok every five bloody minutes.
hahaha.

lucky for him that i'm a walking pharmacy, so i fed him some meds and made him sleep it off a bit when we reached the carpark at home.

i swear sey.
dah sakit tu jangan lah degil.

he rarely falls sick.
but when he does, oh my God.
he can be stubborn and super grossly sick all in one.
if he was healthy, i would have just smacked him on the head.
but well, he wasn't.
so i had to still be firm but not be too harsh at the same time.

i'm meeting him again to do another check if he's ok.
cos honestly, i don't believe him when he says he is.
so, i need to have visual evidence for myself.

on another note, i'm excited for batam!
my colleagues told me to try their seafood and the man wants to try kelong fishing.
my sis told me check out their shopping.
so, we shall do just that.

now back to work. :)

.:. shag-ge-what?! .:.

2009-05-31T20:05:00.002+08:00

i am pooped.

another wedding in the family.

life has been good.
alhamdulillah.
this coming week shall be a four day week for me.
yes! :)
taking leave on friday.
best. :)

a date has been set.
keep yourselves VERY free between the 9th and 11th july next year.
my parents are damn semangat.
thank God.
:)

i am tired.
now i shall go bathe.
and maybe go brisk walk later.
maybe.

.:. very sleepy .:.

2009-05-27T22:58:00.003+08:00

i'm exhausted, so here are some quick updates.

1) the man has already started working, and he loves the job.

2) a date has finally been set. we got the caterer and the mak andam. time to check for the venue.

3) we already bought some dulang hantaran stuff. i liiiiiiiiiiiiiike.

4) i played bowling for the first time ever last sunday. haha. the man says i bowl like a lost supermodel. fuck.

5) the man never says no to a dare.

6) i'm excited for next year.

7) i am sleepy.

8) i want bright colours. hah.

9) i love work. i've started moving some of my stuff up to the new office.

10) sometimes i feel like we're still so young, and i can't believe we're getting married. but then, i do want to spend my life growing old with you, with my head on your arm/shoulders.

11) b. saturday night at safra tampines was awesome.

12) kita go swimming this weekend k b? :)

13) meet up next week yan and jon?

14) shaz and kam!! bila?!!!!!!!!!!!!

ok. time to wash up.